Contrary to stereotypes, many people living with serious mental illness are able to thrive. Schizophrenic.NYC is a clothing line meant to open conversations around schizophrenia. Conversations and acceptance around mental health and psychosis benefit everyone.
Michelle Hammer is like many clothing designers in New York City. She creates beautiful leggings and witty shirts that she sells personally. Still, unlike many others, Michelle lives with schizophrenia.
Michelle’s business, Schizophrenic.NYC has been both an entrepreneurial venture and a quest to change how people view mental illness.
“I heard this voice in my head.”
People most often experience the first signs of schizophrenia in adolescence or young adulthood. For Michelle, psychosis first showed up as a voice bombarding her with intimately personal attacks ordering her to keep to herself. Michelle shares, “I heard this voice in my head…that led me to isolating myself and not being very outgoing. And, all through high school, my mom noticed something was up with me, but I thought she was trying to sabotage me and wanted me dead. Every time she was trying to get me help, I thought she was trying to hurt me.”
Michelle fell into a world of paranoia. She believed that college would offer her escape from the person trying to harm her, and it did, until “All of a sudden the voices returned and they started to tell me that my roommate—my best friend—was trying to hurt me, sabotage me, and wanted me dead. That’s when it clicked in my head that this didn’t make any sense. Why would I have the same thoughts about my roommate that I had about my mom?”
The Right Help
Recognizing that something was wrong, Michelle reached out for support from her college health center, where she was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This began a journey of hospitalizations, therapy, and medication. Michelle continued attending college and playing lacrosse. Still, it took time for her to compose her best treatment team.
Michelle shares, “I saw this psychiatrist who was good with me. He held me accountable. Like, I’m very straightforward New York City, and this guy was straightforward, New York City. And I was like, this guy, I can relate to.” At this time, Michelle received a diagnosis of schizophrenia.