Under the best of circumstances, I’ve entered the
final quarter of the game of life. We all know that the most important quarter
in any game is always the last quarter. The final quarter determines whether
you lose or win. Everything can change until the final buzzer sounds.
Some players will give up when they fall behind in
the score, but other players will give the final push and surge ahead. The team
that’s ahead often makes the mistake of resting on their laurels, and at the
final buzzer realize they have been bested by the come-back kids.
In the game of life, unfortunately, we don’t know
when the final buzzer is going to sound. It could happen at any time, during
any quarter of the game.
From my umpteen years of experience, I discovered
some undeniable truths. In typical fashion, I’ll offer my unsolicited advice.
You know how we all hate unsolicited advice, so if you want to stop reading
now, you have my best wishes.
1. Love
with your whole heart. Yeah, I know the heart is just a muscle, so this is
a figurative expression, but I’m sure you understand what I mean. Love has
rules that must be followed. In romantic love make sure the love is mutual. No
one appreciates a stalker, and besides when someone is murdered, “it’s always
the spouse” is too often the truth. Exception: When your loved one has
dementia, you can easily shift into unconditional love.
2. Wealth
is not purchased. The richest people you may know don’t live in the biggest
house, drive fancy cars, and spend more in a week than others earn in a year.
Riches is what you feel inside, how you know you’ve played your best and didn’t
cheat others to do it. When we used to collect money for the Walk to End
Alzheimer’s at our “traffic stop” it was easy to notice that the people who
gave the most generously were not the ones driving the newest, shiniest cars.
3. Keep your mind active. I used to say that once I retired, I wouldn’t have to remember so much. Ha! Now, I try to keep my mind on track by allocating different days to different projects. Sometimes, I feel like a juggler with so many balls in the air that I know I’m going to get bonked on the head eventually. Still, I don’t think I’d rather spend my days in a rocking chair watching the cars go by on the highway. I’ve always loved a challenge, but sometimes I put too much pressure on myself, so I take a nap. My mind is always active even when I sleep, and my vivid dreams occasionally offer solutions to problems I didn’t know I had.
4. Offer grace instead of hate. I’m not
easily offended, and most people aren’t if they don’t look for things to make
them mad. Some people take everything personally whether it’s meant that way or
not. I
will offer grace to those who may misspeak and mean no harm. Don’t get me
wrong, if someone deliberately insults me (or someone I love}, I’ll let them
have it with both barrels (figuratively!). Caregivers know that sometimes they
have to be an advocate for their loved ones, and hope that if you lose it,
someone will offer you grace.
5. You are not better than or less than. If you think
you are better than others, you just need to get over yourself. If you think
you are less than, you need to rally your self-esteem with a serious pep talk.
When in doubt, remember we all came into this world naked and testing our lungs
by screaming, and we all leave this world when our life’s game is finished. You
won’t be around to see the final score, but others will be. Make sure that you
did yourself justice and played the game well.
6. Keep a sense of humor. A sense of humor
is easy during good times, but humor makes the hard times easier. If you can
laugh at yourself, others will laugh with you. When Jim was in the nursing
home, some nights were really tough, but other nights, I felt like I’d been
dropped into the middle of a sitcom. Most people with dementia often believe
they are younger than their years. Since Jim was younger than everyone else, he
often caught the eye of the older ladies. One night a woman came into Jim’s
room and pointed at him. “He’s my husband, you know.” I told her, “He’s is sure
a good-looking guy.” A lady shuffling down the hallway with a walker observed,
“He sure is good-looking to be married to a fuzzy haired woman like you!”
7. Don’t offer or listen to unsolicited advice. Ooops!
Copyright
© July 2026 by L. S. Fisher
https://earlyonset.blogspot.com