She savagely lit into herself a few nights ago over blowing a job interview. Thinking about it afterward, she wondered if she was the critic at all. Could it have been someone — or history — speaking through her? She used to ask, “Do I have an inner critic?” Now she needs help.
Essentially, the inner critic acts as an introjected, critical parental figure. Dr. Nelda Andersone
Introduction
After numerous unpleasant run-ins with my inner critic over the past three months, I began a series on the subject last week. For assistance, I turned to the work of Psychology Today expert Dr. Nelda Andersone.
Part one describes the inner critic, including what it can look and sound like. Right after posting, it hit me that readers may want to learn about the inner critic’s origin and purpose. So, let’s do just that, again with the assistance of Dr. Andersone.
I, for one, look at it as a great opportunity to learn more about myself — especially that automatic and consciously unaware part. Maybe we look at it the same way?
Let’s roll.
Where it all begins
I’m sure you’re not surprised that Dr. Andersone believes the origin of the inner critic lies in our childhood years. That’s just life in the world of emotional and mental illnesses.
Research suggests that people with harsh self-critical tendencies (explained in part one) often encountered frequent judgments, ridicule, and not a whole lot of positive regard during their childhood years.
Aggressive actions and words get the press, but not paying attention and indifference can be just as harmful.
Parents lead the pack
The pack of critics includes parents, teachers, siblings, peers — and societal expectations (which ate me up). But parents lead the pack. And when they’re habitually critical, controlling, demanding, abusive, and/or indifferent, the (innocent) child stands a great chance of becoming harshly.self-critical.
From Dr. Andersone…
Essentially, the inner critic acts as an introjected, critical parental figure.
It all makes sense, doesn’t it. Parents are the world to most little ones, and it’s important to understand that when there’s conflict, a child will assign blame to themselves — they perceive it to be safer.
Burned into the brain
Perhaps worst of all, the attitudes and critical stance of the parent(s) get internalized, becoming the child’s inner dialogue. It serves to support the growth of their illusion of safety and control, which even provides a measure of anxiety relief.
Gradually, the whole works turns into an unnecessary automatic coping mechanism for dealing with life’s challenges. And the scary part is, these early-developed critical and negative evaluations carry a false self-image into adulthood — where the inner critic often feels more like the authentic adult self.
And that’s how it’s done. If you know or suspect you have an active and harsh inner critic, does what you’ve read hit home?
The purpose
The Great Protector
Internalizing a critic can actually be helpful to a child being raised in a dysfunctional environment. And since
The Great Protector
Andersone submits that the human psyche is organized around avoiding pain. Sincerely believing the person’s survival depends on them, the inner critic takes on the responsibility of managing a person’s life so they don’t have to face emotional pain. Witness our ongoing monitoring of threats and safety precautions.
When something in the present resembles the pain from early life, you can count on The Great Protector to jump into action. Let’s put it in the context of our friend’s situation. Her inner critic unleashed hell on her…
The biggest interview of your life and you blew it to smithereens. He didn’t like you, and neither did I. You’d better double down on making yourself marketable — or else.
She had been judged and rejected during the interview. The inner critic wouldn’t have it, so it delivered harsh criticism and control — even demanding improvement to avoid the same treatment at the next interview — “or else.”
As unpleasant as it can be, it’s just how it operates. Andersone believes that under closer examination, it becomes evident that the inner critic is trying to act in the person’s best interest.
Brutal tactics
Even though its heart may be in the right place, the inner critic often doesn’t use its head. Unknowingly, it can increase a sense of internal threat, making it more difficult for the person to realize their potential and live a full life.
According to Andersone, some of its tactics…
- Using “black-and-white,”, “always-never,” and “everything-nothing” positions
- Repeatedly personalizes, exaggerates perceived threats, and catastrophizes to evoke negative emotions about past events or instill fear regarding future outcomes
- Relentless shaming, blaming, and indiscriminate criticizing
- Creating a false sense of security, contributing to a pervasive sense of isolation
Yes, brutal…
Wrapping it up
No surprise — people may not consciously notice they’re “beating themselves up.” I mean, it feels normal. All of it — negative thoughts, harsh criticisms, brutal interventions — are generated and delivered without awareness.
Dr. Andersone warns…
A hidden and unaddressed inner critic has a significant influence over a person due to its unconscious nature. When unaware of its existence and approaches, there’s no opportunity to address it.
Keep in mind that driven by an unconscious inner critic, people conform to their early internalized standards and accept judgments, rather than critically evaluating and choosing what aligns with their satisfaction and needs.
Getting to know and addressing the inner critic becomes essential to disrupting its limiting influence and acquiring skills for new, fulfilling actions.
If you haven’t already, give part one a go.
I’m bound to have missed something, so be sure to read “Decoding the Inner Critic’s Origins and Purpose.” And while you’re there, check out her Pychology Today profile.
Please review the Chipur emotional and mental illness info and inspiration titles on the articles page — or by category below, right sidebar on desktop. We’ll both appreciate it.
After a decades-long wrestling match with emotional and mental illness, Bill finally found his professional and personal passion – life’s meaning. He wanted to lend a hand to those struggling as he did, so off he went to grad school at age 49 and earned his counseling credentials. He continues his service through Chipur and other projects.