All these decades later, l can vividly recall uplifting interactions with my grandparents — going back to childhood. I guess that’s why I see the value. But maybe it wasn’t that way for you. So, are grandparents important (beyond babysitting)?
Having a confident expectation that someone will listen and understand provides a child wonderful protection against what Barish refers to as “emotional pathogens.”
Introduction
As is often the case, when I decided it was time to write, subject matter flew the coop. But a few minutes online filled the gaps.
Dated June 13, 2026, ”Why grandparents matter more than ever for children’s mental health” features the work and wisdom of renowned child psychologist Dr. Kenneth Barish. It appeared on Science Daily,
Kenneth Barish, Ph.D.
Dr. Barish is Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine and the Associate Editor of the Journal of Infant, Child, and Adolescent Psychotherapy. He also wrote the award-winning book, Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions and Solving Family Problems. In addition to teaching, writing, and clinical practice, Barish plays jazz trumpet.
A personal observation
For some time now, increasing emphasis has been placed on dividing and destroying the family. Have you sensed it?
Be it in the name of personal and family values, lifestyle preferences, political points of view, spiritual and religious beliefs, perception of societal expectations — some measure of division or destruction of the family now appears on remedy lists.
As for “Are grandparents important?”: not so long ago, it wouldn’t have been asked.
The comfort and recovery support of grandparents
So let’s see: social media, algorithms, artificial intelligence, chatbots, poor guidance, plummeting societal values, exploitation and trafficking, symptoms of depression and anxiety, substance use (should I go on?) — our young people have been sold down the river.
Dr. Barish is convinced that any of the above, especially social media, played a major role in the Surgeon General of the United States declaring a youth mental health crisis on May 23, 2023. And he believes grandparents can be a powerful source of comfort and recovery support.
His thoughts……
We did not evolve to raise children with as little extended family and community support as most American parents have now, Children need grandparents, and they always have.
Pretty straightforward…
The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting
A new book from Dr. Barish
Dr. Barish has a new book: The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, He’s pulled together his 40 years of clinical experience, findings from neuroscience, child development studies, and educational programs for one reason — to argue that grandparents can play a meaningful role in helping families navigate today’s parenting challenges.
Children’s well-being: purpose matters
I mentioned in “A Personal Observation” that an increasing emphasis is being placed on dividing and destroying families. Barish believes we need to counter a cultural trend that has increasingly emphasized individual achievement over community and connection.
He nails it…
Over several decades, America has increasingly become a society of I, not We. In many families and communities, preoccupation with individual achievement has eroded the values of kindness and caring in the lives of our children.
Barish points out that research has linked intense achievement pressure to elevated rates of anxiety, depression, and substance use — particularly in affluent communities.
He submits that children need a stronger sense of purpose that extends beyond personal accomplishments. As he puts it, “Helping others promotes a greater balance in children’s emotional lives.”
According to Barish, research reviewed by social psychologist Jane Piliavin found that helping others is associated with higher self-esteem, lower rates of depression, reduced school dropout rates, improved immune function, and even longer life expectancy. The link above takes you to the details of her infamous 1969 Subway Samaritan Study.
How grandparents can support children’s mental health
“Molecules of emotional health”: small but meaningful moments of encouragement, attention, and understanding…
Barish says grandparents offer more than practical support for parents (that’s the “beyond babysitting” part). Grandparents can provide what he calls “molecules of emotional health” They’re small but meaningful moments of encouragement, attention, and understanding that help strengthen children’s “emotional immune systems.”
Having a confident expectation that someone will listen and understand provides a child wonderful protection against what Barish refers to as “emotional pathogens.”
I don’t think that’s asking for too much.
Praise vs. criticism
Have you noticed there’s a lot of praising going on in households these days: yard signs for birthdays and games, images taken to celebrate breathing, the “I deserve it” selfie..
Barish…
Criticism does not motivate children to work harder. Instead, frequent criticism breeds resentment and defiance, and undermines children’s initiative and effort.
Besides, Barish doesn’t believe all praise is equally beneficial. He’s more comfortable with psychologist Carol Dweck’s “growth mindset” concept. Hence, he encourages adults to focus praise on effort and learning rather than innate ability.
As he says, “Praise effort, not intelligence or talent. Praise learning, not grades.”
Closing wisdom from Dr. Barish
As a grandfather of four, I think this is just brilliantl…
According to Dr. Barish, helping our children and grandchildren do well in life is less about teaching skills and more about having conversations; less about earning rewards and more about learning to cope with painful feelings; less about clearing a path to success and more about strengthening an inner feeling of confidence and pride. Our children will then work harder, bounce back more quickly, show more caring and kindness toward others, and pursue interests with greater enthusiasm, commitment, and sense of purpose.
Well beyond babysitting
All these decades later, l can vividly recall uplifting interactions with my grandparents — going back to childhood. Tightly wound as I was, and continue to be, it made a tremendous difference, for which I’m grateful.
Are grandparents important? Well beyond babysitting.
BTW, Grandparents Day is Sunday, September 13, 2026.
Here’s the original article on Science Daily:
Check out Dr. Barish and see what he’s up to: Kenneth Barish, Ph.D. And here’s the scoop on his new book: ”The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting.”
Please peruse the Chipur emotional and mental illness info and inspiration titles on the articles page — or by category below, right sidebar on desktop. We’ll both appreciate it.
Materials provided by Taylor & Francis Group. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.
After a decades-long wrestling match with emotional and mental illness, Bill finally found his professional and personal passion – life’s meaning. He wanted to lend a hand to those struggling as he did, so off he went to grad school at age 49 and earned his counseling credentials. He continues his service through Chipur and other projects.