She’s stopping men on the street, going viral and helping Gen Z date.
Ellie Williams – @ellieforthegirls – hopes her “Where men on the street go out” series will help young people meet in real life.
Call it cold hearted or cost effective, but for some Gen Z singles, a free dinner date beats another night of ramen or freezer-aisle meals.
With rent soaring, student loans looming, and job security feeling out of reach, Gen Z is carrying their financial anxiety into their dating lives. Nearly 1 in 3 Gen-Z singles are going on dates just for the free meal, according to a new study from financial technology company Intuit. The report, titled The Cuffing Economy, is another data point about how economic anxiety is reshaping young people’s dating habits, or decision to date at all.
“If you want to go on a date with somebody because you’re interested in them and you’re excited about them, and you both talked about who’s paying for the date, great,” says Aja Evans, a licensed mental health counselor and financial therapist. “But do not go on dates and potentially lead people on.”
Are ‘foodie calls’ cold hearted or cost-effective?
There are plenty of tongue-in-cheek TikTok videos about singles setting up dates because they can’t be bothered to meal prep or bragging about scoring free dates for food.
In one video, British singer-songwriter Chiara King shared with her 4.2 million followers, “When you agree to go on a date but he’s boring and you’re just there for the free dinner.” In a since deleted video viewed more than a million times, another woman shared on TikTok that she once went on a dating app and had 16 dinner dates in a row after she ran out of money for food during college.
It’s a dynamic that impacts LGBTQ+ daters as well. Gay content creator Brandon Edelman, better known as @Bran_Flakezz, wrote over a TikTok: “POV: going on a date with a guy just to get free dinner.”
The videos’ tones might be playful, but there’s some truth behind them, according to Evans.
“My clients who are talking about going on dates, potentially for the free meal, they are already in a financially anxious position, so being able to experience going out to dinner or coffee or drinks feels fun and it feels good, even though they’re not sure if they’re going to be interested in the person they’re going with,” Evans says.
Dating for dinner may be more prolific, but it isn’t new.
Researchers in 2019 dubbed the phenomenon “foodie calls,” a playful twist on the better-known term “booty call.” Add into the equation that more than half of adults under 30 report having used dating apps like Tinder, Match, Bumble, and Hinge, according to Pew Research. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of “Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart,” previously told USA TODAY that these apps create a “shopping cart mentality” where daters evaluate users as if they were products. Evans says these apps contribute to the access and speed of ability to line up dates.
Anxiety is shaping Gen Z dating habits
But just because someone is dating doesn’t mean they have extra money to spend, according to Evans. Gen Z – the cohort born between 1997 and 2012 – is more financially anxious than their older peers, and they’re carrying that mentality into their dating life. Beyond the date itself, single people are concerned about the attached costs like transportation.
“People don’t realize that somebody might really be struggling financially, and especially given the age, like going out is part of being social, is part of the culture. And when you don’t have the funds, sometimes people still want to enjoy those aspects of life, of going out for a coffee whatnot, and maybe some nice conversation.”
The “Cuffing Economy” report found that more than half of Gen Z daters say they’ve cut back on dating because of financial pressure, the highest of any generation. One in 5 have avoided dating entirely to save money.
Gen Z is also more comfortable than older generations being transparent about money – their salary, their budgets and their debt, according to Evans.
“Gen Z really is a generation that is able to say, ‘Oh, I’m anxious about this,’ or we’re budgeting and we’re saying, ‘Oh, I don’t have the money for this,’” Evans says. “That’s really helpful, but it also puts it out there in the open, and that could be really scary and hard for people, especially because it’s a level of vulnerability that not everybody feels.”
How to navigate financial anxiety before the first date
Evans doesn’t recommend the date-for-dinner strategy. Instead, she recommends her clients to talk about the budget prior to the first date, regardless of who initiated it. That could mean suggesting restaurants or bars at a variety of price points or clarifying if both parties feel comfortable splitting or there’s an expectation that one person is paying.
“It could be the one person’s like, ‘Hey, let’s go here,’ but that might be outside of your budget, and you’re like, ‘oh, here are a few other options,’” Evans says. “So you don’t even have to say it, but you can provide other options that may be a little bit more cost effective.”
As gender roles change, so have expectations of who pays for dating. Evans says daters should try to be on the same page before the date.
“It’s been so taboo that people are nervous to bring it up, and I totally understand, but I would rather people cut through the awkwardness that could happen when a check comes and not be staring at each other or sacred change or your wallet or purse or whatnot,” Evans says.
Rachel Hale’s role covering Youth Mental Health at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal Ventures and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach her at rhale@usatoday.com and @rachelleighhale on X.