Rebuilding my confidence and nurturing self-worth helps me manage my bipolar disorder symptoms, even through more extreme mood swings.
How we feel about and envision ourselves — especially when our thoughts turn negative — can seem unchangeable.
Yet, there are accessible ways to increase our self-esteem, start feeling good about who we are, and build a positive self-image. Embracing these approaches supports our mental well-being and strengthens our self-confidence and personal happiness.
While managing my bipolar disorder, I was constantly beating myself up, putting myself down, and being overly hard on myself — even over the slightest “faults,” like saying the wrong thing.
I realized I couldn’t build myself up while simultaneously tearing myself down. In other words, I couldn’t feel good about myself when I was actively making myself feel bad.
Bipolar Disorder and Unconditional Self-Love
Many of the most effective ways to build healthy self-esteem are through self-love, self-acceptance, and self-approval. This means consciously validating, embracing, and appreciating ourselves daily and unconditionally.
It’s surprisingly simple in some ways since it doesn’t require any money, travel, or special tools. What it does require is awareness, commitment, and perseverance.
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Instead of negative self-talk, criticism, or invalidation, building true confidence calls for positive self-talk, self-encouragement, and a nurturing attitude toward ourselves — rather than harsh self-judgment.
Especially with bipolar disorder, certain aspects of our lives can feel beyond our control. The good news is that finding ways to foster these positive feelings about ourselves remains firmly within our control.
Learning to Say ‘Yes’ to Things Even When You Want to Say ‘No’
One way to feel better about yourself is to do things for others that make you feel good about yourself. For those of us living with bipolar disorder, this can be tough. I used to dread any kind of task, often saying “no” or begrudgingly agreeing to things I didn’t want to do.
Friends would tell me that getting me to do things was like pulling teeth, but they also understood I was struggling with motivation due to bipolar. My perspective changed, however, when I began actively seeking ways to boost how I felt about myself.
I started pushing myself to be more flexible, open-minded, and willing to say “yes” when others need help, an extra pair of hands, or simply my company.
Believe it or not, I soon found myself helping a friend pack up and move apartments, cleaning another friend’s kitchen when she felt overwhelmed, and going with a friend to a social event where I knew no one.
Learning to Step Out of Our Comfort Zones
Although it can be challenging to step outside our comfort zone or do things on someone else’s terms, taking these small steps can really support personal growth. Feeling good about ourselves does come with growth because it involves our own small successes — even if they’re only baby steps.
Bipolar disorder was a big block in my life, and it kept me from doing things outside my comfort zone — things my mind was closed to. It wasn’t until I started challenging my own limits that I began to grow and feel better about myself.
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With new information and resources available, learning to feel good about ourselves — even while living with bipolar — is entirely possible. Plus, building up this positive self-image helps to build confidence and comfort, which in turn helps ease anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity.
The Connection Between Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Feeling good about ourselves, from the inside out, is definitely important to our everyday well-being. In addition to positive self-talk and doing things for others, tending to my appearance has also boosted my confidence and self-worth.
In fact, a therapist once suggested I treat myself to a makeover. I wasn’t offended; I welcomed her advice and completely overhauled my wardrobe, taking my fashion up a notch. I was very pleased with both the suggestion and the results.
It turns out that when you look like a million bucks, you often feel like a million bucks, too. And when you’re genuinely feeling good about yourself, it can make navigating the lows that come with bipolar depression a bit easier.
Maintaining Self-Awareness to Manage Your Bipolar Proactively
Since I’ve been taking a proactive approach to managing my bipolar, I realized it requires ongoing consistency, or I could slip back into my old habits and beliefs. It also took me time to learn and practice these new ways of being before I felt comfortable maintaining them.
I’ll admit I wasn’t always as vigilant of myself, and I found that that’s when I fell into deeper bouts of depression or mania. Managing my bipolar has really helped me to take better care of my own needs in order to minimize the extremes of living with bipolar disorder.
RELATED: How I Restored My Self-Worth and Self-Esteem
Recognizing my needs has also helped me stay on top of my mental health. When I regularly honor those needs, I notice fewer feelings of upset or discontent.
In my opinion, there’s a universal desire to feel good about ourselves — yet we often leave that need unfulfilled. If we can learn to meet it through our self-validation, it could help us with our mental well-being and overall happiness. And the best part is that a sense of self-approval can truly lie within our own control.
There are many ways to feel good about ourselves, but we don’t always give ourselves credit or permission to feel proud. This post is all about doing just that — offering ourselves love, validation, and genuine self-acceptance so we can feel good about who we are unconditionally, no matter what we do.
UPDATED: Originally posted June 22, 2022