Parents, please be advised that the following story contains frank, adult discussion about Santa. (Whatever the experts say, we’re not taking any chances with putting ourselves on the naughty list.)
Is it time for parents to toss Santa’s “naughty or nice” list?
In many homes, kids are on their best behavior, hoping they don’t land on the wrong side of Santa Claus’ holiday list. It’s a challenge embraced by children and enforced by exhausted parents (and Elf on the Shelf) who are thin on patience by the end of the year.
Some mental health experts, however, say characterizing children as “good” or “bad” on a list can limit personal growth and inflict shame, sometimes for developmentally appropriate behavior. They also say imposing a “naughty or nice” list doesn’t produce a desired outcome.
“We want to steer kids toward kind behavior but we don’t always have the tools,” Chazz Lewis, a parent and teacher coach in North Carolina, tells TODAY.com. “So we repeat what we learned as kids and sometimes those lessons are based in fear or manipulation.”
Lewis explained more on Instagram: “Labeling kids is unhelpful at best and psychologically harmful at worst,” he said in a video. “It constricts this human being into a box that is hard to break out of. Two: It’s manipulation. If we value the Christmas magic like we say we do, we would avoid adding manipulation to the season.”
The educator added in the video, “What determines the amount and the quality of presents that a child gets is not based off of their mortality — it’s based off the wealth of the family.” Due to the “naughty or nice” tradition, he said, children in lower-income families may sadly believe they are “bad.” Santa, he concluded, should not be modeled as the “morality police.”