One time, I was struggling with some loneliness and depression, and feeling like a dark cloud was following me around. Like I have the tendency to do, I hid it the best I could, not wanting to draw attention to my struggles.
Then, out of the blue, I got a text from a friend, essentially saying “I can tell you have a lot on your plate right now, if you haven’t heard it from anyone recently, let me just tell you that you’re doing great”.
Just that one simple text; it meant the world to me. Maybe he knew that I was struggling, maybe not, but in that moment, I didn’t realize how much I needed a little positive affirmation. Part of the challenge with internalizing your struggles is that it can be hard to get the support you need. Nonetheless, it was a great reminder for me to check in on the people close to me. You never know what someone might be going through and a simple text could mean more than you know.
Then I later confided in him about some of my mental health struggles. In doing that, he told me about a time in his life when he didn’t feel like he had everything together, and felt lost. With his opening up, he helped normalize those feelings I was having, and made me feel like I wasn’t alone.
It gets said all the time, but it can be difficult to take to heart. When we struggle, or at least when I struggle, I’m so wrapped up in what I’m feeling and how I’m not “normal”. It becomes hard to imagine or think about the fact that others feel this way too and it isn’t just unique to me.
I guess the message is, reach out and check in on the people around you, because there’s no downside and you never know what it might mean to them. And try to make people feel like they are not alone. That doesn’t mean you have to have the same experience, but at the end of the day, we all struggle and face adversity. Different experiences, different magnitudes, but it’s something we all face.
Better Together
This post is part of Better Together, a collaboration between HeadsUpGuys and The Scooty Fund to address loneliness in men.