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Negative thoughts replay in my mind, turning into constant inner conversations I can’t seem to shut off.
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The Loop of Endless Internal Self-Talk
As someone with bipolar disorder, I want to give you an example of the types of conversations I have with myself — conversations that are constantly going on in my mind.
One night, my wife looked over at me and said, “Dave, why are you so quiet today?”
I said, “I don’t know. Am I being quiet? I didn’t realize.”
Then I thought about it and realized that I was having a constant conversation with myself in my mind. And by “constant,” I mean every minute of every hour of every day.
The Magnitude of Looping Negative Thoughts
Here’s what happens: A thought will pop into my head — most of the time, it’s a negative thought — about experiences I have had; then I will have a conversation with myself about this experience.
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Usually, these conversations will last from 10 to 30 seconds, or some time frame in between. Then I’m off to another conversation for 10 to 30 seconds, and then back to the original.
And so on.
If you find you can relate, here are some ways to stop the nonstop self-talk, and I hope they work for you, too:
1. Listen to Music to Distract Your Mind
I listen to music, but I can never, ever remember listening to a song all the way through. At some point during the song, whether it be 10 seconds or 30 seconds in, a thought will pop into my head.
And then I will think about it and converse with myself about it.
Then I will go back to the music.
Then I will have a thought and go back to having a conversation with myself.
And this cycle keeps repeating.
2. Meditate to Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
Meditating helps, but it is not a solution.
It gives me some quiet in between the thoughts — I will have a thought and start a conversation, and then I will let it go. But then, 10-to-30 seconds later, I am off to another thought.
I go back and forth, back and forth, and back again.
So, for me, meditation gives only slight, temporary relief.
But try it anyway, as it just may work for you.
3. Watch TV so You Can Escape to Another World for a While
Watching TV is helpful for me, because it allows me to focus on something else. Whether you watch an old favorite show or a new one, the point is allowing yourself to get distracted and away from your looping thoughts (for a while, anyway).
4. Read, Which Will Allow Your Mind to Focus on Something Else
As far as getting away from my never-ending thoughts, reading has been the best remedy so far. Reading brings me relief from the constant chatter and negative thoughts.
Share Your Concerns With Others and Look for Understanding
I think — no, I’m sure — that everyone has thoughts that pop into their head and trigger conversations with themselves. I just wonder if my bipolar brain is the reason my thoughts are constant.
RELATED: 6 Essential Strategies to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking
The next time my wife asks, “Why are you so quiet tonight?” I will say, “Because I have been having a conversation with myself all day long.”
I’m sure she is going to respond, “About what?”
Unfortunately, I will have to say, “About everything — and nothing.”
But by talking about it with her, I hope she will understand, which is all any of us want, right? By starting that conversation, I could gain insight into the constant thoughts and conversations I have with myself. And I wish the same for you.
UPDATED: Originally posted December 16, 2016