Missing You Mom, The Grief Just Never Seems To Pass

As many of you know, I stepped into the dementia arena, because my mother lived with dementia symptoms for 30 years. For the first 10 years, she was misdiagnosed and told it was her hormones. She knew it was different from what her girlfriends were going through, but she had never been taken seriously by her doctor.

Now, I’ll admit it was a long time ago as Mom passed in 2014, add 30 years on top of that and we go back 41 years. I’m happy there is more education amongst our doctors, professionals, and families, but still sad to say, some families are still not taken seriously when in the diagnosis process.

That brings me to the autopsy that backed up our beliefs all along. It showed an extremely atrophied (shrunk) brain, with a primary diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease with secondary diagnoses of Lewy Body and Parkinsons. Neither of the latter was ever mentioned to us during our journey.

Through Mom’s journey, like all family members, I had my ups and downs with mom, but I am so thankful we never lost the ability to find joy between us. If it was an event in the earlier stages, singing and dancing to the music she loved in the mid-stage, or sitting quietly next to each other just absorbing the peacefulness of being in one another presence as dementia took a larger grip on her.

Even to this day I can sit and think of my mom and find a sense of deep peace, even if moments of sadness wave over me as I miss her so much. But I have learned through my loss, is that that you can’t feel grief without first feeling love. So no matter how heavy your grief is, please know how blessed you are to love so deeply as many never hurt this bad as they have never loved so fully. When it hurts, think how Lucky am I!

If you are interested in learning more about my mother and her journey check out the section I’ve dedicated to her, as without my mom Alzheimer’s Speaks never would have been created. I think you will find some of the old photos, and real stories not only funny but helpful.

Learn More About The Mother Behind the Movement

On my last note, I just want to encourage people to watch and listen to your children and grandchildren. Even the very very young. It warms my heart frequently as my grandchildren who never met my mother, recognize her picture, point up at her before they are old enough for words and smile and coo, or as they get older call out her name. I believe we are connected forever, so even when a loved one passes we will always be connected even if on a new level we didn’t know existed.