Does your bipolar mania impact your finances over the holidays? Here are some ways to resist overspending and manage your money.
Over the holidays, we shop for gifts, buy food for parties — and don’t forget about getting a new outfit (or two) for those parties.
The holiday season can be joyful, merry, and bright, but it can also bring a lot of stress for many reasons. For some, the biggest stressor is managing finances. For me, the struggle comes from wanting to make other people happy. I love seeing their faces light up when they open my well-thought-out gift. I want to show up at family dinners with delicious food and look my best.
In the past, this all took a major toll on me once I balanced my checkbook and saw what money I had — or, more accurately, what money I didn’t have.
I could easily forget that I was not only buying gifts and all that jazz, but I also had my regular bills and expenses.
Add in having bipolar disorder, particularly when I was manic, my spending was like a free-for-all. I had no control.
3 Ways to Manage Manic Spending Over the Holidays
Here are three tips that have helped me to lessen the financial stress of the holiday season, and they may help you, too.
1. Make a Gift List and Stick to It
Like I said, I love buying gifts for people. I want to show them that they matter to me and that I appreciate them. I want to bring joy to someone else.
But, in the past, I’ve gone overboard, buying too many gifts. I felt each person should get the same number of gifts — no one should have more or less. (Unless they were children — then all bets were off.)
I knew that people enjoyed my gifts and were grateful, but I would forget to ask myself, “How will this make me feel in January when the credit card bills are due?”
You can probably figure out that answer without me saying it.
So, how do I combat this issue? I make a list. (Full disclosure: I love lists! I have lists for everything and about everything.) List-making makes me happy.
- I make a list of all the people I want to give a gift to. Think of anyone and everyone.
- I put thought into what I want to get them. I think about that person, what they have talked about wanting at some point, or what I think they would love.
- I have also been known to make gifts for people. Some years, everyone in my family gets a homemade gift. (This is a great way to save money, too.)
- I really try to stick to the list. Once a gift is bought, I cross it off the list, and that person is considered “done.”
All this helps me avoid unnecessary spending, which keeps my finances in check and allows for a much more peaceful post-holiday experience.
2. Connect With Others Through Food
During the holidays, there are several gatherings to attend, and I always want to bring something to share. Whether it’s a family dinner, meeting up with friends, or bringing food to work, I want to spread some cheer to others. And what’s the best way to do that? Food! Everyone loves food.
I used to work at a place where this was especially true. There was a running joke that if there were a million dollars and a cake on a table, the cake would be gone by the end of the day, and the money would still be untouched. Food is just magical like that.
It’s easy to overspend on food, though — especially if you buy everything pre-made like I used to.
The best way to avoid a stress stomachache is to commit to only what you can afford, cook or bake the food yourself, or limit how much you contribute. For example, when there was a potluck at work for our department’s holiday party, I’d ask what everyone else was making and then decide.
If I could get away with something easy, like a pie, I would sign up for that. No, I had never baked a pie in my life. Honestly, I am not a baker. (My sister was blessed with that gene.) But a simple pie was something I could afford, and people love desserts.
RELATED: Real-Life Advice on Getting Through the Holidays
For family gatherings, there’s always a list of dishes we want to have, so we divide it up, and each person takes responsibility for something. Obviously, I don’t make the pies, but I usually handle the mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. These are easy to make at home, which helps keep my spending down.
By the way, for many years, I cooked the entire holiday meal. To manage the cost, I shopped the weekly grocery ads, many of which are digital now. I also planned ahead so I knew what I needed. (That was also another list I enjoyed making!)
3. Have Limits Around Shopping, Especially When Manic
When I buy gifts for others, I feel great. But when I become manic, shopping for others can turn into a disaster. In a state of mania, I’m buying gifts for others and checking my list twice — but it feels like I’m on some kind of high.
Mania and spending money go hand-in-hand. When I’m manic, it’s like I have an itch I can’t scratch until I buy something. It can be anything. I’ve gotten out of control, buying way too many things at once. When mania and shopping collide, shopping always wins. I feel like I must do it.
I wish I could say I have it under control. But …
My secret? I try to follow these “rules”:
- First, I do buy something. But it’s just one or two things — and that is it!
- Second, if something new comes into my closet, something has to go out. For example, if I buy a new shirt, I must donate an old one. This goes for pants, dresses, and jackets, too. (It’s a great rule year-round, not just during the holidays. Buying things for others just increases my euphoric feelings in the moment.)
- Third, the best way to control my holiday shopping is to start early — like in February! Shopping this early helps me financially because I can buy one or two things here and there throughout the year. Plus, I don’t experience manic euphoria when it’s a random Tuesday in June when I spot something I should get for someone.
RELATED: Mania and Overspending: Don’t Break the Bank!
Controlling myself when I am manic while holiday shopping is hard, but in my experience, it’s manageable when approached this way. Spreading out my holiday gift shopping over several months also eases the financial strain and stress that used to start off the New Year on a rough note.
Control Stress and the ‘Urge to Splurge,’ Especially When Manic
The financial stress we all face during the holidays is huge. I know I don’t want others to go overboard and strain themselves financially for my sake, and I’m sure they feel the same about me.
Managing financial stress can be difficult when you’re facing the urge to splurge, but it’s possible. Make a list, don’t take on more than you can handle, and give yourself some grace. This approach has helped me find relief from the extra stress of holiday shopping and the financial aftermath. It can work for you, too.
UPDATED: Originally posted December 3, 2020