Even with bipolar disorder, building self-confidence through small successes remains firmly within our control.
How we feel about and envision ourselves — especially when our thoughts turn negative — can seem unchangeable. But there are accessible ways to increase our self-esteem, start feeling good about who we are, and build a positive self-image. Embracing these approaches supports our mental well-being and strengthens our self-confidence and personal happiness.
While managing my bipolar disorder, I constantly beat myself up, put myself down, and was overly hard on myself — even over the slightest “faults,” like saying the wrong thing.
I couldn’t build myself up while simultaneously tearing myself down. I couldn’t feel good about myself when I was actively making myself feel bad.
Practicing Unconditional Self-Love With Bipolar
Many of the most effective ways to build healthy self-esteem are through self-love, self-acceptance, and self-approval. This means consciously validating, embracing, and appreciating ourselves daily and unconditionally.
It’s surprisingly simple in some ways since it doesn’t require any money, travel, or special tools. It just requires awareness, commitment, and perseverance.
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Instead of negative self-talk, criticism, or invalidation, building true confidence calls for positive self-talk, self-encouragement, and a nurturing attitude toward ourselves — rather than harsh self-judgment. Finding ways to foster these positive feelings remains firmly within our control.
Boosting Confidence by Helping Others
One way to feel better about yourself is to do things for others that make you feel good about yourself. For those of us living with bipolar disorder, this can be tough. I once dreaded any kind of task, often saying “no” or begrudgingly agreeing to things I didn’t want to do.
Friends would tell me that getting me to do things was like pulling teeth, as I was struggling with motivation. My perspective changed, however, when I began actively seeking ways to boost how I felt about myself. I started pushing myself to be more flexible, open-minded, and willing to say “yes” when others needed help, an extra pair of hands, or simply my company.
I soon found myself helping a friend pack up and move apartments, cleaning another friend’s kitchen when she felt overwhelmed, and going with a friend to a social event where I knew no one.
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
Although it can be challenging to step outside our comfort zone or do things on someone else’s terms, taking these small steps supports personal growth. Feeling good about ourselves comes with growth because it involves our own small successes — even baby steps.
Bipolar was a big block in my life, and it kept me from doing things outside my comfort zone — things my mind was closed to. It wasn’t until I started challenging my own limits that I began to grow and feel better about myself.
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Learning to feel good about ourselves — even while living with bipolar — is entirely possible. Plus, building up this positive self-image helps to build confidence and comfort, which in turn helps ease anxiety, nervousness, and insecurity.
The Link Between Appearance and Self-Worth
Feeling good about ourselves, from the inside out, is essential to our everyday well-being. In addition to positive self-talk and doing things for others, tending to my appearance has also boosted my confidence and self-worth.
In fact, a therapist once suggested I treat myself to a makeover. I wasn’t offended; I welcomed the advice and completely overhauled my wardrobe, taking my fashion up a notch. I was very pleased with both the suggestion and the results.
It turns out that when you look great, you often feel great, too. And when you’re genuinely feeling good about yourself, it can make navigating the lows that come with bipolar depression a bit easier.
Proactive Bipolar Management and Self-Awareness
Since taking a proactive approach to managing my bipolar, I realize it requires ongoing consistency, or I could slip back into my old habits and beliefs. It also took me time to learn and practice these new ways of being before I felt comfortable maintaining them.
When I wasn’t as vigilant, I found myself falling into deeper bouts of depression or mania. Managing my bipolar has really helped me to take better care of my own needs to minimize the extremes of living with the condition.
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Recognizing my needs has also helped me stay on top of my mental health. When I regularly honor those needs, I notice fewer feelings of upset or discontent. There’s a universal desire to feel good about ourselves — yet we often leave that need unfulfilled. If we can learn to meet it through self-validation, it helps our mental well-being and overall happiness. And the best part is that a sense of self-approval can truly lie within our own control.
There are many ways to feel good about ourselves, but we don’t always give ourselves credit or permission to feel proud. We must offer ourselves love, validation, and genuine self-acceptance so we can feel good about who we are unconditionally.
UPDATED: Originally posted June 22, 2022