This blog was shared with MQ by Annie Button.
As someone who has struggled throughout my adult life with anxiety and mild depression when my dad became seriously ill, my initial fears were of being unable to cope and of feeling my mental health plummet.
When I first heard my dad’s diagnosis, he had just a 30% chance of making it through the night and I was working abroad. I immediately flew home as, at the time, my mum was already struggling to cope with my grandma who was increasingly unwell with dementia. I knew heading back to the UK that there was a lot to face.
However, my two passions are immersing myself in nature and swimming in the sea. Yet, I never realised just how important these activities would be for me and my personal mental health challenges.
Facing up to the challenges
Those early days were tough, visiting my dad in hospital and moving back into my parents’ house. It was April, and my mum and dad’s house was just a five-minute walk from the sea. My one source of comfort was walking down to the seafront, taking photos of seagulls stealing scraps of food before going for a swim in the changing tides and crashing waves.
At times, with so many sudden and upsetting changes, the constant overwhelming bad news about my dad, and the stress of not knowing what would happen from one day to the next, maintaining my mental health proved tough. My friends were widely dispersed since university had finished, and although I did have a sister nearby, it was really every time I swam in the cold Sussex sea, after dad’s bleak cancer prognosis, that I felt a real sense of calm and a general improvement to my overall wellbeing and mental health.
Understanding how swimming helped me
Outdoor swimming or ‘wild swimming’ as it has become known has grown in popularity in recent years. It has gained its huge following not only because it’s fun, sociable, and a great form of exercise, but for some people – myself included – swimming in colder water has a noticeable uplifting effect on my mood.
However, although some swimmers go into the sea all year and agree that it benefits their mental health, more scientific research on the subject is needed to verify any thoughts or findings. There has been a degree of grounded medical research which supports the evidence, but much of the data stems from studies carried out on volunteers and is regarded as ‘self-reported evidence’, so more scientific research is necessary.
Personally, I find swimming in the sea or in outdoor pools very therapeutic, and I think it is the feeling of being in cold water that I love. These mental health benefits are shared by friends I regularly swim with. Positive benefits have also been reported by members of swim groups, as this science-based article on the Outdoor Swimming Society’s (OSS) website suggests. Similarly, I have discovered a few studies that have been done by national organisations like Swim England, but these are, of course, my findings and personal experience.
The social prescribing of swimming to improve mental health is a promising area, but will warrant more research to fully appreciate the benefits to be gained. Swimming in groups or solo can be a healthy way to meet new people and talk to friends you swim with, to share problems or worries that might be negatively impacting your mental health.
Refocusing my mind with nature and creativity
When I was swimming, the weight of feeling sad and of facing brutal hospital visits or updates from doctors improved whenever I went in the sea. Despite the cliches, a regular swim helped me to balance and manage my mental health. The continuous rhythm of front crawl strokes, for example, did alleviate my stress as I could focus on my breathing. If I floated on my back and looked up at the sky or dived underwater, I could relax, think about my father and my family, and make sense of the unexpected trauma and emotions I felt.
For me, going swimming and taking photos became my two forms of personal therapy, providing the escape I subconsciously needed to feel better and like I could cope. In addition to swimming, being outside on a beautiful beach, I also felt grounded and close to my dad, and I would sometimes talk out loud to him while I was swimming. At the time, I also started to explore nature photography. I now appreciate that like cold water swimming, capturing images of nature is good for me.
Exercising outdoors in the fresh air
As a sport-loving person who loves exercising in the fresh air, swimming in the sea on a quiet beach from April was beneficial. This is probably what made me choose to go swimming when I couldn’t bear to leave my dad. Being physically active is known to boost mental health, and can improve people’s long term health and wellbeing. Equally, swimming is often very meditative too, and I remember standing in the sea, throwing a 1p coin into the waves and wishing my dad would miraculously get better. Swimming was my sanctuary during the most challenging times of my life and after my dad lost his battle.
Likewise, photography became more than a hobby – it evolved into another form of emotional release. It became another way to focus, process emotions and reflect. This personal therapeutic power photography has offered me is also beginning to be recognised within the field of mental health. In Canada, a technique known as PhotoTherapy, uses photography to spark emotional expression and communication within the counselling environment. This looks a promising area for more research, and I know personally taking photos and being immersed in nature has given emotional clarity and healing. It will be interesting to see how research develops here.
Counting my blessings with lasting memories
Thankfully, for me and I hope for other people who might be struggling with their mental health during their struggles with grief, swimming and photography were my therapeutic combination. They became something I wanted and needed to do to help me get through the hardest and saddest days thinking about my dad. I’m so glad that I did take that first walk to the beach and that I continued to swim in the sea and take photos while my father was in hospital. He sadly died only six weeks after I first flew back.
Photographs also have the ability to make, evoke, and keep memories for a lifetime. After I lost my dad and had to face the loss of my grandma within a year, my family decided to scatter their ashes together off the pier into the sea. For me, the sea and the sunset photos I took during the memorial ceremony continue. Photos of my dad and grandma, as well as my current swims, give me a long-lasting connection to their memories. Grief and anxiety, like the sea, comes in waves but swimming has taught me that you can’t fight the waves – you have to learn to move with them.
If you have been impacted by any of the issues in Annie’s story you can find support here.