From getting out of bed to completing work tasks, it’s difficult to do anything when bipolar depression takes over. Here’s how to change that.
There’s no question that it’s difficult to get things done when you’re depressed as a result of your bipolar disorder. I’ve certainly had a hard time with this for most of my life. I had plenty of ideas for my books and other writings, and I knew I had the talent. But when it came to finding the energy to get started and follow through to the end, I just couldn’t seem to accomplish what I wanted to.
The process was overwhelming — and I stopped believing in myself.
Then, one day, I realized that all people with depression have trouble getting things done. It’s a symptom of the mental health condition, not a personal flaw.
From that point forward, I made a decision to do everything possible to get things done as best I could. No longer would I look back on my life and feel ashamed for all the time I had spent worrying about my lack of accomplishment instead of doing something about it.
Regaining Control When You Feel Paralyzed
Many years ago, I became very ill and spent a lot of time in bed. I couldn’t focus and could barely take care of the chores around my apartment. I cried all the time and felt like I would be a “failure” forever.
It took me a few years of living this way before I realized that I had far more control than I thought over the depression ruining my life. If I didn’t want to live like a walking zombie, I knew I had to make some big changes.
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So I decided to take control of my life, rather than let depression dictate what I could and could not do. Instead, I said to myself, “Depression may not want me to get on with my day, but I do.” And I was finally able to get out of bed — I did have control over my body and brain.
It often felt as if I was walking in mud the minute I got up (and it still does sometimes). However, I made a decision and stuck to it. When I felt too depressed to work on a project, I reminded myself, “I have control here. I make my decisions.” And this helped me change the way depression affected my life.
My point is that, even in the darkest depression when you feel immobile, you are not immobile. You can still move your body, and you can still make your own decisions.
Overcoming the Anxiety of Unfinished Tasks
As I looked more deeply into the reasons why I wasn’t able to get things done, I realized that the time I spent worrying about not doing something took far more time than the actual task itself.
I still sometimes struggle with this dichotomy. One week, for instance, I was being really hard on myself for not answering all of my emails. I finally made myself sit down and take care of the problem. It took 45 minutes! I had literally worried for a week over something that, in fact, took less than an hour.
This happens to me with household work, as well. Did you know it takes about three minutes to unload a dishwasher and half an hour to clean the whole kitchen? Worrying really does blow a job completely out of proportion. Just reminding myself that I’d rather get a small job done — instead of having anxiety about it — makes all the difference.
Action Before Motivation: The Trap of Waiting
Many people equate depression with the inability to work. In reality, it’s often the inability to feel like working that is the problem. Waiting until I “got” the feeling of wanting to do something — before I even got started — was one of my biggest mistakes.
I’d always thought that depression made it impossible for me to get things done — that my lack of desire to finish projects was a personal failing. I really believed this when it came to writing and other creative endeavors. It’s so sad to think of all the years of creativity I lost because of these thoughts.
These days, I know I don’t have to feel like working in order to get started or to finish a project. The desire to keep working may not be very strong, but it does show up eventually. I say to myself, “Julie, the longer you wait to want to do this, the more chances it will never get done. Do it now. There are no other options.”
Treating Bipolar Depression Like a Physical Illness
I think back to when I had stomach surgery. Everyone was very concerned and had often told me not to do so much. My friends and family came over and helped with cleaning and drove me around town. They said, “You have to take care of yourself, Julie, so that you can heal properly!”
I agreed, and although I felt I was being a wimp for needing so much help, it was easy for me to accept that my body had limitations I needed to respect.
The real irony is, my depression is far worse than any stomach surgery — it’s more dangerous and takes a lot more management. This is the stigma of depression, when in reality, it’s just as physically significant as trauma to the body.
I took care of my physical body following the surgery. Likewise, I learned that I needed to be just as good to myself when depression makes it hard for me to function.
Separating Your Identity From Your Symptoms
I try to use all these tools in my daily life. I still have depression most of the time, but I accept that this is how it is for me. If I want to finish a project, I will have to rise above the depression and let the “real me” take over.
My book, Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder, took six months to write. On the days I could barely get started, I reminded myself that I didn’t have to like what I was doing, but I was going to do it anyway.
And let this sink in: The time I spent worrying about not doing something took far more time than the actual task. Can you relate?
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On some days, I cried while I was writing. On others, I was sure the depression was going to do me in. But I kept going. I really did say to myself, “Julie, the depression wants you to be sick today, but you’re a professional, and you can finish this book.” And I met my deadlines.
The most interesting thing is that when I look at the book now, I honestly can’t tell what part was written when I was severely depressed, and what part was written when I felt stable.
I definitely still have days when I sit around and get really down on myself. These days are really tough, but I have the goal to at least be more active by the evening, and it usually works. I have taught myself that depression will always take away my ability to get things done — if I let it.
I’ve decided not to let it anymore.
6 Tips for Getting Things Done During Bipolar Depression
Here are some ways to still get things done even when depression tries to prevent you from doing so:
- Partner up for accountability. Work alongside a friend or colleague so you can hold each other responsible for finishing tasks.
- Curate your workspace. Consciously choose the environment where you focus best, whether that is a quiet library, a bustling cafe, or a specific desk at home.
- Commit to single-tasking. Focus on one (and only one!) project at a time until it is fully completed to avoid overwhelm.
- Reframe negative self-talk. Remind yourself that this struggle is a symptom of depression, not a character flaw. You are not weak or lazy; you are managing a condition.
- Practice “doing it anyway.” Acknowledge the heavy feelings of depression, but proceed with the task at hand regardless of how you feel emotionally.
- Be patient with your progress. Remember that behavioral change takes time and practice. Don’t give up. Ever.
UPDATED: Originally posted February 8, 2007