When my memory lapses, I worry a mood episode is coming. Here’s how I manage these moments and my bipolar disorder.
Something unsettling happened recently: I was talking to a friend about Downton Abbey — a TV show we both love — when I couldn’t remember the name of one of the main characters.
He’s my favorite character. I could picture him clearly and recall every detail of his storyline, yet his name was completely out of reach.
I racked my brain, but I was stuck. The harder I tried to focus, the blanker my mind became.
RELATED: What to Know About Managing Bipolar Brain Fog
Because I live with bipolar disorder, any potential disruption in my thought patterns worries me. It could indicate an impending mood episode, and that’s not something I take lightly.
I’m slowly learning useful skills that help me focus and keep me from feeling overwhelmed. Hopefully, some of these tips will make your life easier, too.
1. Prioritize Tasks to Prevent Feeling Overloaded
I can’t multitask. The more I take on, the less focused I become. Between work and managing household needs, family life, and personal projects, my circuits are overloaded. It’s no wonder bits of my memory are failing.
Occasionally, I can manage a day with six or more errands, but the more I try to accomplish, the less mental energy I can devote to each task. By the evening, I’m wiped out, both physically and mentally.
The worst part is I don’t even remember how I got from point A to point B, because my thoughts were too focused on the next item on my list of chores. It’s a weird feeling to know you arrived somewhere but have no memory of the journey.
Because I recognize this, when possible, I try to prioritize what’s important and save less crucial responsibilities for later.
2. Write Things Down to Free Up Mental Space
I read somewhere that highly successful people are list-makers. I have lists for groceries, home repairs, general to-dos, professional development ideas, and even potential vacation destinations (that’s the fun one).
I don’t always complete everything, but keeping written running tallies of my obligations helps me stay organized and on track.
Writing things down helps me record priorities and set them aside so they don’t occupy valuable space in my mind. I can revisit each list when I’m ready and have adequate time to focus on them.
There are also tons of free online list-making apps — including Google Keep and Todoist — that allow you to share lists with others and update them from anywhere.
3. Take a Deep Breath and Reconnect With Your Surroundings
I often lose focus because my mind has drifted elsewhere. I’m a planner: I like to be organized by preparing for the future. I also want to learn from my previous mistakes so I don’t repeat them.
Although these are both useful tactics, they’re only helpful if I don’t get bogged down in memories of the past or dreams about the future.
To function effectively and enjoy life, I must be present. Only by practicing mindfulness can I stay focused and clear-headed.
It doesn’t take a big commitment to apply meditation rituals. To do this, I simply stop myself whenever I become aware that I’ve lost track of where I am and what I’m doing.
I simply look around, inhale deeply, and shift my focus to my immediate surroundings. I take note of the sights, sounds, and smells around me. It’s a straightforward, quick way to reorient myself and a strategy that centers me.
4. Be Kind to Yourself When Memory Slips Happen
If you’ve been experiencing cognitive impairment, you’re not alone — especially if you have bipolar disorder.
We’re all constantly grappling with our own challenges, whether it’s job loss, grieving a loved one, or everyday stress.
Give yourself some grade: At such times, don’t beat yourself up for being inattentive or forgetful.
Our brains can have a tough time dealing with stress and anxiety. So forgive others — and, most importantly, yourself — when you can’t think straight. It’s understandable, and it’s okay.
RELATED: Bipolar and Memory: Managing Brain Fog
If you live with bipolar disorder like I do, it helps to pay attention to changes in your thought patterns. Sometimes, it could be a sign of a mood episode — or it might not be.
If you’re concerned, consider talking to your doctor or therapist. Getting some feedback and perspective from an outside party can be beneficial.
I’ve also found strength in support groups, many of which have online options. Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can be helpful.
5. Stop Focusing on What You Are Trying to Remember
Have you ever noticed that the harder you try to remember something, the more your mind locks up? Then later, when you’re no longer thinking about it, the memory floods back.
This happens to me all the time. When I’m feeling stressed or overloaded, I struggle with memory issues, and things get blurry.
When my bipolar disorder causes scattered, disorganized thoughts, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and let go. It’s only when I don’t cling so tightly to ideas that I can truly grasp them.
Case in point: When I couldn’t remember the name of that character from Downton Abbey, I freaked out a little. I was afraid I could be hypomanic, manic, depressed, or otherwise mentally compromised in some way.
The more I fixated on it, the further down the rabbit hole I fell — until all I saw was darkness. Within a few hours, I’d convinced myself I must have the beginnings of dementia.
Then, while brushing my teeth that night, I remembered. “John Bates!” I yelled through my toothpaste-filled mouth. I laughed in surprise and accidentally speckled my bathroom mirror with toothpaste foam.
His name was so easy to remember once I’d relaxed and stopped worrying about it. Looking back, I realize how silly it was to let my fears snowball into such an extreme conclusion.
Next time, I’ll take a deep breath and just let it go. Sometimes, that’s the best solution.
UPDATED: Originally posted September 21, 2021