On my birthday, I spent the day with my mom,
sisters, and one of my brothers. Later in the evening, I had dinner with my son
and daughter-in-law.
The waitress mentioned a missing girl in the area
where Eric and his family will be vacationing. “A lot of people go missing and
sometimes they are never found,” I said.
Our conversation turned to some family members who
had tragic events that caused turmoil and heartbreak. We talked about good
people who grew up with horrible abuse.
Sometimes we have an inkling of the demons that
plague people we know, but we only see what they allow us to see. Most people
hide their sorrow behind a polite smile and a “Fine” in response to a generic,
“How are you?”
Some people have no empathy and think their
problems are the biggest problems anyone can face. I’ve always had the
assurance that no matter how bad things were in my life, someone else had
bigger problems. I have complete confidence that no matter how hopeless a
situation was that eventually life would be better.
At certain times in my life, I’ve felt as if I
were walking through a dark tunnel that was on the verge of collapse. Then, I
would hit a place where the light shone through for a short time before I was
plunged back into darkness. Even during the darkest times, I had no doubt that
if I knew what other people were dealing with; my problems would seem miniscule
in comparison.
I heard a man say that if people walked around
wearing a sandwich board that listed their problems as bullet points, we would
treat others with more kindness. The pain that lies in a person’s heart and the
hurt of a tormented soul are not visible to his closest friends much less strangers
he passes on the streets.
No one cares to spend time with a chronic
complainer, but the person who is constantly cracking jokes may be the saddest
person you know. Being the life of the party is sometimes the only way he or
she can feel alive.
We may know the bullet points of another’s life.
We may understand that a caregiver is cranky because she hasn’t had any sleep. The
man who lashes out in uncharacteristic anger is frustrated by a brain riddled
with dementia. A person who suffers from depression may have lost a loved one. Our
co-worker hasn’t performed to her usual standards because she is dealing with
terminal cancer.
No one wears a sandwich board and only those who
know a person’s situation can begin to comprehend why a person’s behavior is
outside of the norm. That is, if there is a norm.
Not every problem has a solution and not every
person has the capability to keep on moving through the dark times of life. Stress
can light the fuse to a powder keg of self-destruction.
If I were to write a sandwich board, I really
believe it would be more helpful to my state of mind to list the things that
are right in my world. I have a large family that I love, I have a good dog, I
have a nice home, food to eat, fresh air to breathe, and a community of
friends. I have enough work to do that I don’t have time to be bored.
I have some health problems, but hey, who doesn’t?
I have music, laughter, and love in my life. Who could ask for anything more?
Copyright ©June 2025 by L.
S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
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