The last time our family band was setting up to
play music at the Good Samaritan Care Center in Cole Camp we heard some 50s era
music over their speakers. The song “Personality” came over and my brother,
sister-in-law and I sang along as we worked. We talked about the possibility of
adding the song to our play list.
With all kinds of love songs floating around, you
don’t hear too many that mention personality as a main attribute. Perhaps the
song’s popularity was because we are often attracted to others because of his
or her personality.
Personality can be defined as complicated categories,
physiological types, or with various
psychoanalytic theories. Some people think their personality type is
determined by the signs of the Zodiac. I think personality is a person’s characteristic
way of thinking, feeling, and behaving that comprises an individual’s unique
adjustment to life.
If you look at your friends, you may find that
many have similar personalities, although your inner circle of friends may also
have complementary personalities. You may be shy and meek, but your friend will
stand up for you and boldly defend you. Personalities are unique and define our
humanity.
Jim and I were alike in many ways, yet different
in others. We both came from large, extended families that thrived on jam
sessions. Family was important to both of us. We were different in that I grew
up in one house and went to one school, but Jim lived in dozens of houses
throughout his lifetime and went to several different schools in various
states. Jim loved to travel and camp out, but I preferred to stay home in
comfort. I thought it was important to save for a rainy day, and Jim thought
money was only important as to what it would buy.
Through good times and bad, we blended together.
He taught me to love travel and camping, and I brought him around to fiscal
responsibility. Our personalities kept life interesting and we had an abundance
of deep, meaningful conversations interspersed with humor and laughter.
Then, along came dementia. The most heartbreaking
part of the disease was losing the sense of self that made Jim…Jim. For a long time, he looked the same
on the outside, but he wasn’t the same on the inside. He lost the sharp wit,
the intelligence, and the awesome mechanical abilities that he had. No,
everything didn’t change at once, parts of his personality shone through at
times, but as he lost his skills and ability to carry on a conversation, he
turned inward.
Jim’s personality changed, but his personhood did
not. He lost many of the qualities of his personality, but he retained the
goodness of his heart and, occasionally, I saw a spark of his spirit. He was a
man with dementia, but he was still a unique individual.
Jim and I were two sides of the same coin. By the
time Jim’s personality changed, we shared a history that allowed my love to
reshape itself. Jim had once been my protector, but eventually, I became his. Nothing
else builds a characteristic adjustment to life as much as necessity does.
When we think of falling in love, “personality” may
not be the first word that comes to mind, but it may be what captures the heart
and keeps love alive.
2024 by L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
#ENDALZ