I recently watched two movies on the same day about
female friendship. The first movie I watched was Patsy and Loretta. The two country singers Patsy Cline and Loretta
Lynn had a friendship forged in mutual respect, similar life styles, and
honesty. Their story begins when Patsy Cline was injured in a car accident and ends
when she dies in a plane crash.
The other movie I watched, strangely for the first
time, was Thelma and Louise. The
adventures of the friends quickly turn into misadventures. Louise threatened to
shoot a man who was attempting to rape Thelma. He made the mistake of yelling
at her that he should have continued, so Louise shot and killed him. Later,
after a hitchhiker stole their money, Thelma robbed a liquor store. As an
armada of police cars chases the two fugitives, they opt to kiss, grab hands
and “keep going” and fly their Thunderbird into a canyon. Friends to the end.
Friends that earn our undying love are few and far
between, but that does not devalue friends who celebrate our successes and support
us when we fail. We gain friends throughout life who share common goals.
Our first friends are family. Our cousins and
immediate family members share life experiences with us. When we begin school,
we gain other friends. Several of the women in my high school graduating class
meet monthly for lunch. Our friendship is stronger now than it was when we saw
each other on a daily basis.
As we grow older, our in-laws become part of our
family. Jim and I both came from large families and I gained a multitude of
in-laws throughout my lifetime. His family became my family.
Thelma and
Louise became friends at work. Considering how many hours a person spends
at their job throughout their lifetime, it is not surprising that some of our
co-workers become our closest friends and confidants.
In 1998, after Jim showed obvious signs of
dementia, I began volunteering for the Alzheimer’s Association. I opened up my
heart to persons with dementia, other volunteers, and staff at our local
Alzheimer’s Association Chapter. My world expanded to annual advocacy trips to
Washington, DC, where I forged additional friendships. Distance and time do not
diminish the special bond that I have with my fellow Alzheimer’s advocates.
When I joined BPW (now, Sedalia Business Women) in
2006, I had no clue as to how many new friends I would make. Now, many of them
are old friends, and as our club grows, I make new friends on an ongoing basis.
Like Patsy and Loretta, we don’t
always agree on everything, but the friendship doesn’t waver.
Later in life, I gained friendships through
church, line dancing, and music. During the past trying years, I’ve mostly
watch services on my cell phone and arthritis ended line dancing but I still
hold these friends in my heart. Music has taken a larger part in my life after
I learned to play the ukulele and joined the family band. This has been a two-
or three-fold advantage. I see much more of my family, renew old ties with
friends who are in nursing homes, meet new friends, and learn to know other
musicians.
A song says “you can’t make old friends” but I
don’t believe that. Sometimes you meet someone who seems like an old soul. It’s
hard to explain an immediate strong connection and it almost feels as if the
person is not merely an “old” friend, but an ancient friend. That was how my
friendship and love for Jim felt. Almost from the beginning, Jim said he would
lay down his life for me. I never once doubted that he meant it. After I met
Jim, my life began the destiny that made me the person I am today.
Jim’s endless love gave me the courage to live life and
love fearlessly. Yes, I open myself up to grief and loss, but it is well worth
it.
Copyright © May 2024 by
L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
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