First impressions matter. This is the advice we
give to people who are job hunting, since a potential employer will size you up
in the first seven seconds, or less, of meeting you. In addition to visual
impressions, body language, and the tone of a person’s voice present a rapid
subconscious evaluation of a prospective employee.
We also want to impress people that interest us
romantically. Most of us are skeptical of love at first sight, but it does have
a scientific basis. Along with the brain’s positive first impression, a
chemical surge can cement the attraction.
The day I met Jim, was a textbook example of love
at first sight, and what made it magical was the feelings were mutual. Of
course, neither of us was crazy enough to admit it at that moment. Jim told me
later that he was supposed to leave for Oregon the next morning, but after he
met me, he cancelled the trip.
Infatuation
doesn’t always lead to enduring love. Sometimes the outside attraction doesn’t
translate to inside attachment. In our case, our personalities clicked and love
at first sight became a forever after.
In life, one of the greatest mysteries is how the
human body and brain gel into relationships. Romantic love may happen quickly,
or it may grow from a slow realization that someone you have known for years
has won a special place in your heart. No matter how it begins, love forms from
the inside out.
No one has a happily ever after in real life, and
love will be tested often in a long-term commitment. Finances, emotions,
communication, trust, or a combination of circumstances can jeopardize the
stability of a relationship.
One of the frequent issues, especially among older
adults, is health. When the health of one person fails, another may be thrust
into a caregiving role. Any serious health condition has a different set of
problems.
When a spouse develops dementia, reciprocal love
turns into unconditional love. A person with dementia may become incapable of
expressing love outwardly, although they may have a strong emotional attachment
inside.
It is important to express your love and show
tenderness even if your loved one is nonverbal. After each visit at the nursing
home, I would kiss Jim goodbye and say, “I love you.”
Jim had aphasia and rarely spoke, but one night he
emphatically said, “I love you too.”
Jim spent the last five years of his life in the
nursing home. When I read the Indelible
manuscript, I realize those five years were an emotional rollercoaster. I went
through all the stages of grief time after time, but I adjusted, and life
assumed a different norm.
I think the most important lesson I learned was to
make the most of each day. Even the bad days, or sad days, became precious
memories. In the darkest times, I was grateful for the love of family and
friends.
Philosophies of the best way to attain a
fulfilling life are numerous and different for each individual human alive. While
I walk this earth, I want to live life to the fullest and find inner peace to
reconcile my emotions to the outward turmoil that disrupts my life from time to
time.
September 2025 by L. S.
Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
#ENDALZ