The
last Saturday in August, I participated in the International Play Music on the
Porch Day. This was the first year that I was able to sing on our sun porch. I
was hoping it would be complete by the time the big day rolled around, but the
tile hadn’t been laid and the shiplap wasn’t stained and finished.
This
is the third time I’ve participated in the big day, but for once, I knew
exactly what I wanted to sing. Recently, I discovered Kelsea Ballerini’s “If
You Go Down (I’m Going Down Too)” song and knew it was the one song I was going
to sing on the sun porch.
I
dragged all my music equipment out to the porch. I carried my ukulele and the
dog trotted along with me. It was a beautiful, cool morning and just as I got
set up, the guy that mows our lawn showed up. As I started recording, the mower
buzzed past the window. Take 1,2, and 3 erased. After several attempts, I made
it through the song without mower interruption.
The
song is a humorous take about friendship that knows no bounds. A person is
lucky indeed, if you have a friend who will, without question, have your back!
I don’t know if I’d go to the extremes that the song implies, but I do have a
few special friends and family members that I’d bail out of jail.
I
remember one time my sister called me and said she was in jail and wanted to
know if I’d go her bail. I was quickly calculating in my head how much money I
had in the bank.
“What
did you do?” I asked.
She
said, “Embezzlement” and then laughed. She was “in jail” for charity and had to
raise a certain dollar amount to do her part. With great relief, I donated.
Although
we may (or may not) have friends that we would stick to through all pitfalls
and disasters, we more often will have to know when a person has gone too far.
At times all we can offer is tough love. We may have to say, “I can’t do that”
when we get that call in the middle of the night, and someone wants you to bail
them out of jail. Several years ago when I was living alone, I received one of
those calls and although I was half asleep, I knew it wasn’t something I could
do.
I’ve seen heartbroken parents who refuse to
enable their kids when they get lost in the illegal drug world. I had a
conversation with a woman whose son relapsed and was circling the drain. She
refused to help him saying, “He has to hit rock bottom before he will stop
using.”
There
are reasons to refuse to let someone drag you down with them. Imagine that
someone is drowning and in their panic, they pull you under, and you both
drown. In that case, if you have a long pole you can let her hang on and drag
her to safety. Or you might throw him a floatation device and let the person
save himself. It does no one any good if you both drown.
I
know that as a caregiver, I had to work at not sinking into despair. I had to
hold on tight to my own identity to continue life outside of caregiving.
Friends and family who walked beside me and pulled me forward were the saving
grace that kept me afloat.
Lately,
playing music with the family band has been my lifeline. Relaxing with my
ukulele helps me make it through some exasperating days.
I
wasn’t 100% satisfied with how I sang the song, but knowing me, I could have
gone through it twenty times and still would have found something wrong with
it. I took the SD card out of my camera and inserted it into my PC. I used
Movie Maker to finish the video and format it for Facebook.
In
past years, my video was lost among the thousands of videos posted throughout
the world. This year, was a little different. I started getting comments about
the song. One lady said that it would be a good song for her trio. One of the
Play Music on the Porch administrators said this was her new favorite song, and
asked if I’d post it to the Facebook account so that she could share it. Songs
posted to the community can only be viewed by other members and cannot be
shared. Later in the day, the administrator said she had been singing the song
all day!
I
know the enthusiasm wasn’t for my singing, but for the song. It will probably
take another year for me to find a song for 2024 Play Music on the Porch Day. In
the meantime, the message for my best friends—if you go down, I’m going down
too.
Copyright © Aug
2023 by L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
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