I fixed chicken sandwiches and Arby’s curly fries
for lunch, and I asked Harold what he would like to have with it. He said,
“Ketchup.” Then after a hesitation, he mentioned mustard, mayo, pickles,
tomato, and lettuce.
“That reminds me of the time we took Colby to
Applebee’s when he was little. He looked at the kid’s menu and decided to order
his own meal. The first item he ordered was ketchup. Then he ordered fries, and
last he ordered chicken fingers.”
Flashback to Branson, Applebee’s: “I didn’t even
know chickens had fingers,” I said. Colby just gave me his “silly old grandma”
look.
We went to Silver Dollar City where we rode rides and
splashed in the water to cool off. Jim and Colby went to play with the Nerf
balls and had a good time. Jim would hand the balls to Colby and he would put
them in the tube.
Everything was going well until we all had to go
to the bathroom. I went into the women’s restroom while Jim watched our bags.
When I came out, Jim and Colby went into the men’s, and I sat on a bench close
to the door to watch for them.
I waited and waited. Finally, I asked a man to go
into the restroom and see if my husband and grandson were inside. He came back
out and said they weren’t, but he told me that there was another door on the
other side of the building.
Jim was in the early stages of the disease and now
he was missing with my grandson. As I was starting to panic and wondering how
to get hold of security, they came walking up on the opposite side of the
restroom. I believe that Colby had brought him back. After that scary moment, I
was ready to leave for the day.
One of the saddest parts of dementia is that Jim
was not able to enjoy his grandkids like he could have otherwise. He only knew
three of his four grandchildren, and it wasn’t long before they were trying to
look after him.
Jim’s dementia affected the entire family. When Whitney was about two
years old, she understood that Grandpa couldn’t go outside by himself because
he might get lost. We were babysitting Whitney one day and decided to go next
door to visit Virginia.
Jim was restless and paced the floor. He casually worked his way toward
the door, and Whitney spotted him. She jumped into the doorway spreading her
arms and legs to barricade the door.
“No, Papa Jim!” she said with all the authority she could muster.
Jim stopped in front of her, turned around, and sat in the recliner.
Virginia must have experienced a mother’s worst
nightmare as she watched her son vanish into a dimension that defies the
imagination. Throughout our time together, Jim had always been a rock for his
mom and dad. He sent his mom an allotment when he was in the military to help
them through financial difficulties.
Jim singlehandedly planned and began construction
on a small house so his parents could move out of a mobile home that was
falling apart. Jim felt an urgency to see that his parents had a decent place
to live, and felt that our house would just have to wait. Jim’s dad only lived
a few months after moving into the house, and after his death, Virginia lived
alone.
Instead of Jim looking after his mom, the circle
closed and she began looking after him. When her health failed, other family
members along with hired caregivers took care of Jim while I worked.
After Jim was in long-term care, Virginia visited
him faithfully often bringing him his favorite foods. I would pick Jim up at
the nursing home and take him to Dairy Queen. His favorite meal was the chicken
strip dinner with a strawberry milk shake. I’m not sure when “chicken fingers”
became “chicken strips,” but at least we don’t have to puzzle over whether
chickens have fingers.
Copyright © August 2024 by
L.S. Fisher
http://earlyonset.blogspot.com
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