Living with bipolar means feeling emotions deeply, but I’ve found ways to stay grounded when frustration takes over.
I’ve lived with bipolar disorder for so long that I sometimes forget I have a mental illness. I have a successful job, a loving relationship, and a seemingly fully functioning “normal” life. And while I do have a beautiful life, I often fear that my mood fluctuations will detrimentally affect it, particularly regarding my partner.
I’m deeply and madly in love with my boyfriend, but I’ve realized how shocking it must be for him when I sob and bang my fists in frustration. Often, I feel like I’m bursting with uncontrollable anger and sadness when circumstances throw my life into perceived chaos. Some days, it’s difficult to see through the tears and accept that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
RELATED: Bipolar Disorder & Anger: Understanding and Getting Control of Irritability
I haven’t always managed my irritable, angry mood well. While I’d never harm anyone, the thought of acting out in frustration is just damned shameful. So, I considered ways to deal with my extreme emotions. I brainstormed some useful strategies to manage my feelings of irritability and anger, and I’m sharing them in the hope that they might help others too.
1. Take a Breather
One of the most difficult things to do when I am angry is to disengage and stop what I’m doing in the moment. I’ve yelled so loudly before (but only when alone) that I felt dizzy and experienced sharp pains in my neck and skull. In those moments, I have to tell myself: Just stop! It’s best to step back — maybe take a brisk walk or even go for a run. I’ve also learned that staying in one confined place when I am extremely anxious or angry only makes things worse.
2. Communicate Your Needs
While I often don’t care about what others think of me, I also don’t want to make a fool of myself. If I do, I’ll later regret how I reacted in a difficult situation. The other day, I was on the phone and started banging on the desk and crying out of frustration.
RELATED: Bipolar Anger Unveiled: Understanding the Rage Within
My partner simply walked into the room and held me as I cried. It was exactly what I needed. Be sure to communicate with your loved ones and let them know what helps when you’re feeling uncontrollably frustrated. If you need a listening ear, a big hug, or just to be left alone, make your needs clear.
3. Take Care of Your Mind and Body
There are many things we can do to positively support our mental and physical well-being. I steer clear of coffee and energy drinks because they’re far too stimulating and can trigger an irritable mood. I also enjoy stretching as often as possible — laying on my yoga mat and taking just 15 minutes to pull my body in all directions while practicing deep breathing. Sticking to a balanced diet is imperative. Eating well enhances the “feel good” chemicals in our brains that combat feelings of irritability.
4. Take Medication to Calm Down
As I mentioned, I often forget that I have bipolar disorder, and sometimes I also forget that I have effective prescribed antianxiety medications. These pills are not part of my daily routine, but I take them when I need extra help getting through difficult episodes. There is nothing wrong with taking prescription medication when anger feels unmanageable! Just remember to follow your doctor’s guidance.
RELATED: 6 Things About Bipolar Anger You Might Not Know
Having bipolar disorder means feeling emotions intensely, and all we can do is our best to manage them. However, we are responsible for our actions. Bipolar is not an excuse for letting your anger get out of control.
There may be some unavoidable moments throughout our lives, but we are accountable for how we handle our emotions. At times, I simply have to be mindful and ask myself, How would I do that differently next time? While we hope our loved ones are forgiving of our mishaps, we also have to learn to forgive ourselves.
UPDATED: Originally posted April 9, 2019