Do Sad Songs Help or Hurt After a Breakup?

Sad playlists after heartbreak? Science says for some, it may deepen pain instead of healing it- find your healthiest playlist!

Romantic breakups are tough at any age. For many, turning to music, especially tear-jerking ballads or moody playlists, feels like a safe escape or an emotional release. But new research suggests the story is more complex, especially for people who score high in the personality trait called neuroticism (1). While music can be supportive, it can sometimes actually intensify heartache for these individuals.

Does Music Help to Cope With a Breakup?

We use music for more than just entertainment. It’s a key way people cope with feelings, especially after upsetting events like a breakup. Some listen to music to distract themselves, some use it to reflect or vent, and others look for comfort or to express what they can’t say out loud.

A study published in PLOS ONE in 2024 explored how young adults used music to cope after a romantic breakup, with special focus on neuroticism, a personality trait linked with mood swings, sensitivity, and emotional instability. The research found that people high in neuroticism were more likely to use music as an emotional tool, but not always to their benefit.

What is Neuroticism?

Neuroticism involves a tendency to feel negative emotions strongly and frequently. People high on this trait are more likely to worry, feel anxious, or struggle to regulate their moods. Research shows neurotic individuals are especially susceptible to the pain of romantic breakups and may have a harder time moving on.

Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Music Listening

Music as a coping strategy comes in two forms:

• Adaptive listening: Using music to support emotional balance, promote a positive outlook, or encourage healthy reflection and resilience.
• Maladaptive listening: Using music- often sad, angry, or intense songs- to wallow, vent, or avoid emotions, which can increase distress or prolong negative feelings.

The PLOS ONE study revealed that neurotic individuals were more likely to engage in maladaptive listening. Rather than fostering healing, this pattern often deepened sadness and hindered recovery after a breakup.

When Sad Songs Make It Worse

In a study involving 389 college students who had experienced at least one breakup in the past five years, participants filled out questionnaires assessing their personality traits and how they used music to cope with emotional distress. The findings showed that students with higher levels of neuroticism were more likely to experience stronger negative emotions after their breakup and tended to use maladaptive music listening strategies, such as repeatedly listening to sad songs, which only deepened their distress. Statistical analysis indicated that this type of maladaptive music listening partly explained why neurotic individuals found it harder to recover emotionally, whereas more adaptive approaches to music listening provided little relief for those with intense heartbreak

In practical terms, sad music might feel comforting at first, but for those who ruminate or feel emotions deeply, it may actually make things worse in the long run. These findings echo earlier research showing that how we use music can work for or against our mental health after loss or trauma.

The study took place in China, where open emotional expression is often discouraged in traditional culture. This could mean that some individuals, especially those with neurotic tendencies, may internalize pain and use music as a shield, further amplifying distress.

Find the Right Musical Coping Strategy

• Mix up your playlist: Consider balancing sad songs with uplifting or calming tracks.
• Notice patterns: If you always feel worse after an emotional music session, try changing your musical habits or setting limits on listening time.
• Reflect, don’t ruminate: Use music for healthy reflection, not to relive pain again and again.
• Seek support: If sadness after a breakup lingers or intensifies, talk with friends or a mental health professional.

Music is a potent tool for expressing and managing emotions after a heartbreak. But especially for people who naturally feel things more intensely, there’s a fine line where music starts to hurt more than heal. Understanding how your personality influences coping can help you choose strategies that genuinely support your emotional recovery.

References:

1. Adaptive or maladaptive music-listening coping strategy: How does neuroticism use music after experiencing a romantic relationship breakup?
   (He, H., Chen, S., Hua, C., et al. (2025). Adaptive or maladaptive music-listening coping strategy: How does neuroticism use music after experiencing a romantic relationship breakup? PLOS ONE. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0331373. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0331373)

Source-Medindia