Our bipolar community shares essential, real-life strategies and creative tips for maintaining balance and navigating the unique challenges of the holiday season.
It’s often called the most wonderful time of the year, but for many living with a bipolar spectrum disorder, the reality can be far more complicated. The intense, often non-negotiable demands of the holiday season can create significant pressure, frequently disrupting the core strategies essential for your mental health management.
Consider the particular pressures this season brings. Social events that others may find festive can feel draining or spark anxiety. The endless spread of sugary desserts and heavy holiday foods can throw off a well-maintained eating plan, which, in turn, can affect mood stability. And maybe the biggest challenge of all: The constant bustle — travel, gatherings, and late nights — can disrupt the consistent sleep schedule that’s so essential for keeping episodes at bay.
This time of year demands more than just survival; it requires a strategic, compassionate approach. That’s why we turned to the most reliable source of wisdom we know: our own community.
We reached out to our engaged bpHope Facebook community for their collective insights and asked: What’s one tip you have for getting through the holiday season?
Here is a collection of their invaluable, real-life strategies — a truly helpful holiday survival guide from people who get it.
It’s Okay to Say ‘No’
Get rest and allow time to unwind, even if it means saying “no.” You can say you have already committed to being somewhere else, and you don’t have to explain that it is your safe place.
— J.B.
Practice Kind Self-Talk
Don’t overwhelm yourself. Don’t beat yourself up if your finances don’t enable you to buy what you think you should. Holidays aren’t about things, and the people who love you understand. Talk to yourself the way you talk to others. You deserve that, too.
— G.A.
Learn From Past Experiences
Think of what situations have caused bipolar symptoms in the past. Make a list of these situations. Next, think of what has worked in the past around the holidays. This allows you (us!) to create a plan in advance. When possible, avoid or modify the situations that made you sick in the past. Think of what has gone well and repeat those situations when possible!
— J.A.F.
Make Time for Self-Care
Schedule a day dedicated to self-care. A day off from the holiday season. And plan some favorite things just for you.
— B.R.
Stay away from shops, pubs, and restaurants. Walk in the countryside, especially on the rare days the sun comes out. Take long, relaxing hot baths; pull the curtains and chill out in front of a wood-burning stove; cook fresh, unprocessed food; don’t touch alcohol or tobacco; read, paint, knit, draw, or otherwise create; leave the TV and radio off. Live in your own constructed twilight zone for the festive two weeks, then emerge around the 4th of January into a quiet world and breathe a sigh of relief.
— N.J.B.
Take some time for self-care. This year, I’m writing whenever and wherever I can. It’s cathartic. And nobody gets angry when I want to be alone to write in a room away from folks. It’s how I create the alone time I so desperately need.
— J.T.
Lean Into Your Support System
Take it one day at a time when needed, and enlist extra help from your support network!
— C.B.
Lean heavily on your those around you who provide support. If you do not have any, please know you are not alone. Someone out here loves you. Me. And that love is unconditional.
— J.P.
Before the holiday gets here, try to ensure you have some level of support. That way, if you need it the day of, you already have a backup plan.
— Y.Y.
Set Boundaries to Minimize Stress
Go to stores first thing when they open or shortly before they close to avoid crowds of stressed, grumpy people. Set your boundaries and stick to them so you can look after yourself. Don’t forget that the new year is only a few short weeks away, and then the craziness will die down again. Summer is coming, and so will the sunshine to brighten our days.
— M.B.
Know Your Triggers
Just roll with it. Understand your personal triggers for your symptoms. And remember that it’s the thoughts — good or bad — that run your life. Be careful how you think.
— M.A.
Stick to Your Routine and Medication Regimen
I must get enough sleep, eat properly, exercise, take meds, and stay organized.
— B.O.
Stay away from sugar. It makes depression worse.
— S.M.
Don’t forget to take your meds!
— S.D.
Don’t Buy Into the Hype
You don’t have to make perfect, huge meals. You don’t have to have your electricity shut off by spending all your money buying the perfect gifts. Most of it’s forgotten by March anyway! And you can get cranberries and stuffing year-round.
— T.L.D.
Rethink Gift Giving
I stopped giving and receiving presents from adults over 20 years ago. This allows me to focus on kids only and keeps me on budget every year. I focus on music and the things I like about the holidays, and simply live through them instead of thinking I should be happy. I enjoy what I can and deal with the rest!
— J.A.F.
Don’t stress out over getting a gift for everyone if you can’t financially do so; don’t go to the family get-togethers if someone there is toxic.
— K.H.
Don’t do donations of money or otherwise. Save it for any other time of the year. They come at you from every angle, and it creates decision paralysis and anxiety. Turn off the news. Say “no” to many things — not all — but a lot. Stop with the gifts. I only buy for the children now. Watch Christmas movies and cuddle up with a nice pillow and blanket.
— N.W.
Find a Place to Volunteer
Volunteer with a local charity if you can. Prepare and serve lunch or dinner. The camaraderie and sense of belonging to something outside oneself is divine. Be there on Christmas Day for those who appreciate it.
— C.C.
Put Your Mental Health First
Only do the stuff you feel up to doing or absolutely need to. Lose the weight of others’ expectations and do what works for you. Make new traditions if needs be. Cancel the whole thing if it compromises your well-being.
— J.M.
Don’t go broke. Enjoy the moments. Say “no” to things if you don’t want to go. There is no need to make yourself unwell over the holidays. These modern pressures are pointless and toxic. Enjoy togetherness or solitude. It’s your life.
— I.N.
Put your needs first. You cannot do anything for anyone else if you are falling apart.
— C.M.
Try not to get overwhelmed. … If you’re cooking, make a timeline. Prep anything that can be prepped ahead of time. And if family gatherings are too stressful, remember that it’s okay not to go or to go only for an hour.
— A.M.
Take Your Own Car to Holiday Events
Drive yourself to holiday functions so you can leave when you need to.
— T.L.
Create an exit plan for events that overwhelm you.
— T.B.
Hibernate until next year. If I have to go to a gathering, I take Bach Rescue Pastilles and my own vehicle so I can leave whenever I want or need to.
— D.M.
Find Time to Recharge
Shopping, decorating, wrapping, cooking, baking, cleaning, partying, deadlines! It’s a recipe for mania. I try extra hard this time of year to stay mindful of how I act and think. I spend a lot of time reeling myself in. Remember that it’s impossible to do everything, so don’t even attempt to. Most importantly, make sure you have plenty of downtime to do what you like to recharge without pressuring yourself.
— D.M.
Don’t Leave Shopping to the Last Minute
Shop early and get it done so you can enjoy the season without stressing about last-minute shopping.
— J.F.
Do Things for Yourself
Doing things I want to do, not what I feel obligated to do. I don’t decorate because it’s a hassle. I live alone, so I go to church and watch movies on Netflix on Christmas Day. Make yourself feel special.
— N.J.H.
Nurture Your Own Needs
Don’t over-extend yourself; listen to your body and mind, and graciously bow out of that dinner party. You are the present this holiday season — so put on your jammies, make your favorite snacks, cuddle with your pup, watch a good movie, and don’t feel guilty that you did it your way. Your real friends will understand.
— P.R.
Get lots of rest. Learn to say “no” more often and set boundaries on what you take on for holidays. Drop some of your holiday “traditions” as you age to allow for stress factors. Have some food prepared by a restaurant to pick up and bring home or take to family. Remember to do fun things: read, watch TV, make music, or create art.
— T.A.
Embrace Nature
Knowing many people don’t celebrate the holidays lets me off the hook. I also like being in nature, where every day is new and just as special as every other.
— H.M.
Don’t Accept Anything Less Than Respect
Only celebrate with people who respect you.
— B.B.
Be with people who give you their time and enjoy them.
— D.J.
Take It One Day at a Time
Remember to take it one day at a time. I also like to remind myself that it’s just a day of the week.
— C.B.
UPDATED: Originally published December 2, 2023