From social media to everyday interactions, showing our real emotions can feel risky. But staying true to yourself is its own accomplishment.
People are complex, with all kinds of sides to their personalities, and I’m no different. I joke around all the time and feel mental-health conversations don’t always have to be so dry and serious.
With this in mind, I recently posted what I thought was some humorous Instagram content. I realize that mental health is not a joking matter, but I felt like sharing my lighthearted side — the human behind the mask of “professional.”
I was advised I should remove the post for fear of offending someone. I didn’t.
Social media has become a tricky ground for floating our thoughts into the public sphere. Facing the risk of judgment, we might begin to censor our posts lest we be “canceled.”
This also happens in the face-to-face world. When living with bipolar, we might feel compelled to censor our emotional expression.
Pressure to Conform and Self-Censor
When a person’s diagnosis is known to others, there’s a particular brand of pressure to behave within the constructs of “normalcy.”
Keep cool, keep calm, stay collected and composed. Don’t exhibit too much exuberance or irritation — or any other emotion that veers from the spectrum’s middle — or risk the accusing nods.
- What if I’m happy or in love?
- Expressing my fun, weird side?
- Rightfully annoyed with someone?
- Sad for a good reason?
Nope. Not legitimate. Any high or low emotion must be a bipolar swing.
This self-censorship and having to tiptoe around our feelings becomes mentally draining. The constant monitoring and wondering if we’re “fronting” successfully can quickly bring anxiety, a spiral of negative thinking, and depression.
Advocacy and Authenticity
In my case, being an advocate and a therapist adds another ingredient to the pressure cooker. I feel an extra obligation to hold it together when, as a counselor, that’s what I’m responsible for encouraging in others.
While many people do accept I’m human, some judge me if my actions do not align with their view of the perfect avatar of mental health.
Don’t get me wrong — I chose these roles, and I love helping people. But trying to maintain credibility in my own eyes — managing my mood symptoms so I can function at a high level — is a constant work in progress and requires continuous adjustments.
Along with the usual repertoire — medication, psychotherapy, meditation, journaling, yoga, exercise, a disciplined diet and sleep routine — I also spend time every day completely disconnected from the world and all the inherent stressors. I need this time to stay grounded on what’s important to me, what I truly like or dislike, and what I want for my future.
The Accomplishment of Being Yourself
It may be tempting to compromise those inner truths in order to fit into social structures, especially if we’re not concrete in our identity. We’d rather live in discomfort and be liked by other people than be comfortable and disliked by others.
Yet doesn’t it sound liberating to be able to resist the social sway? To behave genuinely?
A Ralph Waldo Emerson quote comes to mind: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Dedication to Honesty and Mood Stability
Remaining true to oneself can be a great achievement, but it doesn’t come without an emotional price. Without persistent self-care, enduring the judgment and expectations of others creates strain and can jeopardize stability.
One of the lessons I’ve learned is not to take the opinions of others personally. I remind myself that everyone looks at things through a different lens — and they have their own insecurities. I won’t let others define me.
Most importantly, I’m discovering how to come to terms with a world constantly trying to make me something else — and I’m not wavering.
UPDATED: Printed as “Real Stuff: Braving Public Opinion,” Fall 2022