Overspending happens, but what matters most is what comes next. Here’s how you can regain control without shame.
Do you ever look back over the past year and wish you had made better financial decisions?
I do. When it comes to holiday spending, you’re not alone if you’re wondering, What was I thinking?
Depending on what mood state you were in, you might not have been thinking at all.
All bipolar mood swings come with financial worries: When we’re manic, we can spend without thinking. When we’re depressed, we can spend in an effort to feel better.
Overspending due to mood swings can be devastating and lead to even more mood swings, creating a vicious circle. And the most frustrating thing is, having bipolar means we often lack the focus needed to make the kinds of everyday financial decisions that come with being an adult in a very money-oriented world.
Everyone I know who has bipolar — including myself — struggles financially sometimes. The first step to getting out of any hole you might be in at this moment is to say to yourself, “I have an illness that affects how I use money. I want to change, and I’m willing to start now to make sure I never get in a hole again.”
Long-term Strategies for Financial Stability
To break the cycle of debt for good, we have to look beyond just balancing the checkbook today and address the underlying behaviors that trip us up.
- Practice financial self-compassion. You’re trying. Beating yourself up about financial problems when you have bipolar is like having diabetes and yelling at your pancreas for not making enough insulin.
- Start your plan today, regardless of your age. I am in my sixties, and I strive daily for financial balance even as my bipolar regularly affects my ability to earn a steady income.
- Protect your wallet by protecting your physical health. Physical illness costs money. We can’t control the fact that we have bipolar, and we can’t always control how our bodies react to medication. However, we do have a say in our lifestyle choices. By doing our best to stay physically healthy, we can help avoid the extra costs associated with preventable physical illnesses.
- Push past the shame to accept help. Having money problems when you’re intelligent and want to work is embarrassing. We must acknowledge these emotions and move on. If someone offers you financial help and all that’s getting in your way is your pride, well, accept the money and let that person help you with your new plan.
Tactics to Stop Overspending Right Now
While mindset shifts take time, there are practical, concrete steps you can take this afternoon to put up guardrails and protect your bank account immediately.
- Audit your monthly autopays and subscriptions. Look at your cell phone bill, cable bill, storage facility bill, and monthly subscriptions to media, etc. Cancel what you can and negotiate the rest. Make a list of all your monthly payments. Are you getting your money’s worth? In my list of bills, I found subscription fees for audiobooks I don’t listen to and a premium TV channel I stopped watching once Game of Thrones was done!
- Remove frictionless payment methods. Buying shouldn’t be too easy; the extra step of entering credit card or bank account details each time you want to purchase something helps slow spending.
- Switch to cash or prepaid cards. It’s not easy, but this is the most effective plan I know. Cut up [or store] your charge cards and always pay cash. Parting with real money hurts!
- Redefine your gift-giving traditions. I made a bold decision years ago that I have rarely regretted. I told everyone I didn’t want Christmas or birthday gifts and would not give them except to children. It freed me up to enjoy the holidays in a way I never thought possible. How much could you save, year-round, if instead of shopping you gave the gift of your time to connect over coffee, fixed someone’s car, or created something by hand? You could save thousands of dollars.
- Build a financial support team. And finally, if you truly can’t handle your bills each month, find someone to help you make a plan, whether it be a family member, a friend, or an attorney or financial planner who specializes in such situations.
Never give up your desire to be financially stable. If you overspent during the holidays last year, face it and decide that this year will be different. Get started right now by doing just one thing listed in this article; then praise yourself for making a change. Then, next time the holidays come around again, you will be ready.
We can’t always control the stability of our moods, but we can find financial balance.
UPDATED: Printed as “Fast Talk: Better Money Management,” Winter 2019