Minor stressors don’t have to spiral out of control. Learn strategies to manage daily pressures effectively.
Allow me to set the scene: I’m running late to pick up the kids, and I get stuck at every red light, crosswalk, and stop sign. I arrive at the school where my kindergartener has dropped the entire contents of his folder onto the ground, and the papers are blowing away. My first-grader walks up and starts asking a thousand questions. The safety patrol lady chastises me for jaywalking.
It felt like a “Calgon moment.” As in, I wanted to disappear into a blissful, yet nonexistent, Utopia.
Typically, I let those kinds of irksome moments roll off my back. Yet sometimes the snowball effect of cumulative stress sets in and derails me for days.
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While weighty stressors like major family, work, and health problems exist, don’t discount the impact of micro-stresses. Seemingly insignificant on their own — like snowflakes — they can pack together into a fist-sized ball. As that ball rolls down the hill, it picks up more small stressors, gathering mass, speed, and the potential to trigger an avalanche.
With a mood disorder, stress compounds easily. Sometimes, even minor turbulence can spiral out of control until a hypomanic episode is on the horizon. I’ve now weathered enough blizzard conditions that I know how to protect my stability. Here’s how:
1. Shut Down the ‘Negative Narrator’
When I feel off-kilter, a flurry of negative, self-punishing thoughts often overwhelms me. I’ve found that if I give this internal voice a name and a place, I have more control over it.
I call it the Negative Narrator. The place I give it is somewhere to the side of my central “self” — along with several different perspectives waiting to chime in. Thinking about it this way reminds me that “it” isn’t in charge of making decisions, and it allows me to stand up to this self-defeating voice and set boundaries — making it easier to quiet.
2. Let Some Balls Fall
If I’m rattled and trying to juggle tasks that are mostly harmless to drop, I let some things go. I’ll give myself a break from housework, bail out of a social commitment, let the kids skip bath time, or postpone an appointment or project.
I remind myself that stability is more important than productivity. And I try to defrost the snowball by focusing on self-care and proper rest. Because nothing is more important than my sleep — especially not some dirty dishes. I’ve road-tested the theory that regular sleep is crucial for stability. It’s accurate.
3. Visualize the Rebound
Bipolar has its own inherent physics: What goes up must come down, and vice versa. It took me years of observation and documentation to understand the physics of my version of bipolar and how it affects my mood cycles.
With that knowledge base, I can anticipate that my mood will restabilize, and I can imagine how I will feel when that happens. If I’m a little too flustered by disruptions to my day-to-day routine, visualizing that return to “normalcy” helps me cope. Depending on the situation, I might imagine returning to a favorite pastime, successfully completing a project, or having a regular old productive day.
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I know I can’t allow trivial issues to compromise my stability. So when I notice myself feeling too fixated on or rocked by something minor, I give myself time and space to be patient with mood and energy fluctuations.
I create opportunities to nourish my mind, body, and spirit. And when I think I don’t deserve to take care of myself, that’s my cue that I need it even more. Above all, I remember it is possible to melt a stress snowball before it rolls out of control.
UPDATED: Printed as “In Other Words: Averting an Avalanche,” Fall 2022