When you hit a rough patch with bipolar disorder, these 8 strategies can help you stay strong, grounded, and resilient.
Everyone has trials and challenges to go through, and sometimes life can feel impossible. I’ve felt that way so many times. To add to all that pain, I also have bipolar 1 disorder.
For more than 20 years now, I’ve been living with bipolar disorder — successfully. The storms that once raged during my rock bottom have finally subsided.
It’s been years since I spent days detoxing from my medication after periods of denial — only to have to start over with a complex medication cocktail. The days of me lying in bed, wishing nothing more than to die, are now a memory. I even read my psychiatrist’s notes later on, where he admitted he never believed I’d make a full recovery.
With the strength of God and support from friends, family, and my therapist, I came back even stronger. So strong that I published my book, Some Dreams Are Worth Keeping: A Memoir of My Bipolar Journey.
I also proudly and passionately took to the TEDx stage, giving the talk of a lifetime, “Having a Mental Illness Is Not a Death Sentence.”
Everything I do to have success with bipolar has been tested, and I’ve learned that the storms come just like the tides of the ocean coming in and out each day and night.
Becoming Resilient in the Face of a Trying Time
The nightmare began with my aging parents a few years ago. I won’t go into the personal details, but our family went through what I can only describe as a living hell. Every single horrible possibility that had been predicted came true. I have cursed God — yet in the same breath, I knew He was carrying me through it all, and still is.
There were times when I felt like we were stuck in a black hole, getting pulled deeper with no way out. We couldn’t catch a break. We couldn’t win.
That first painful year taught me more about myself — my strength, and my resilience — than I ever thought possible. It became a time of deep self-reflection unlike anything I’d experienced before.
RELATED: Bipolar Disorder and the Quest for Mood Stability
There are days when I’ve chosen to curl up in a ball in my bed, crying hysterically, breaking down in my loving husband’s arms as he tenderly carries me — mentally and physically. But more often, I’ve chosen to channel the pain into something meaningful, hoping these trying experiences can serve as a road map for others.
So what are the secrets I learned during this chaotic time — when nothing was going right, and everything felt wrong?
1. Choose Joy Over the Stormy Moments
Every new sunrise gives me a choice. I can be bitter about the cards I’ve been dealt and can let the storms ruin my life, or, I can keep doing what makes me happy — and keep finding joy wherever I can.
For me, finding joy means so many things. Watching a beautiful desert Las Vegas sunset. Spending time with my quirky, brilliant goddaughter. Writing a card to someone I love — just to thank them for being part of my life. Working with my special education students, who have learning disabilities and who teach me more than I could ever teach them. Sitting by the fire pit under a starry sky with my husband. And getting a gentle rub from my bossy kitty, which brings me a deep sense of peace.
2. Find Things to Laugh About
Laughter really is the best medicine.
Every day, my husband finds something for us to laugh about — often from social media. We also try to notice the funny moments in the chaos of our daily lives. Or, we watch our favorite funny classic comedies, like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or any of the Chevy Chase Vacation movies.
Working in a school, I can also always find something amusing from a student — never a dull moment. They’ll say, “Mrs. Johnson, why are there lines around your mouth?” My reply: “These are laugh lines, and when you get to be my age, you will have them, too.”
3. Surround Yourself With a Good Support System
When I think about friendship, the theme song to The Golden Girls, “Thank You for Being a Friend,” comes to mind. I’ve spent over 20 years building the strongest support network of my life.
It all started at church, where I met the man of my dreams. We’ve now been happily married for more than 15 years.
Another support network came through local book signings, where I met authors who have since become close friends.
Joining Toastmasters International opened the door to even more friendships. I also have wonderful support from my aunts and other family members, along with a local ladies’ Catholic group called Magnificat.
If there’s such a thing, I sometimes feel overly supported. If I’m struggling with something, I’ve learned not to tell too many people in one day — it can get overwhelming and even make me feel unwell.
4. Have Faith That Things Will Get Better
Faith is what anchors and sustains me most — life feels too hard without it.
I spend a lot of time journaling, reading a daily devotional, and, as a devout Catholic, I pray what is called “The Rosary Crew,” led by a man so fired up by faith that he leads a rosary group on YouTube.
I attend church regularly and keep Bible verses on my wall to help me — especially helpful at night when the darkness falls.
5. Get Moving, Which Will Release Feel-Good Hormones in the Brain
Get moving. You read it in blog after blog, but this really makes a difference. Endorphins get released in the brain, and exercising helps create a more positive mindset.
I’m lucky — my job allows me to walk about two miles a day, which adds up to 10 miles a week.
I understand that a lot of people don’t have a job like mine. But gym memberships can be really cheap. Or, you can find a friend and hit the treadmill together or go for a walk around the neighborhood.
I also love practicing yoga at my gym and taking hikes when I can.
6. Find a Therapist Who’s Right for You
Find a therapist you love. I was lucky enough to find the perfect psychologist, and one that my insurance covers. I see her for only $20 a session.
During that tough period I mentioned earlier, I saw her weekly. These days, I go just once a month.
A psychologist can offer the kind of support and perspective that others may not be able to. It can take time to find the right one — but don’t give up the search.
7. Take Your Medication and Get It Adjusted When Necessary
Take your meds. When stress was high, I had to adjust mine, because bipolar and stress don’t mix.
I called my doctor when my sleep started getting disrupted. We adjusted my meds, and once the stress passed, I was able to return to my original doses.
Some people say they don’t want to rely on medication. I’ve lived with and without it — and I choose my meds. They give me stability and a healthier life.
8. Get Enough Sleep, Which Will Help Keep Your Moods Stable
Sleep is my friend — I need 8 to 10 hours to function well.
I stick to a sleep routine, starting with taking my medicine at 7 p.m., in order to wake up at 6 a.m. for work. I am so tired from work that I have no problems falling asleep. On the weekends, I take my medicine later.
Remember That Life Is Made Up of Seasons and That Things Will Get Better
What I remind myself most is that life comes in seasons. Some are wonderful; others, not so much. But if you hold on with wisdom and tenacity — and don’t give up — things will get better, as long as you don’t give up.
One of my favorite quotes these days comes from Christian singer Toby Mac: “Sometimes you have to tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to just sit down and shut up.”
UPDATED: Originally posted December 5, 2022