While mania and depression are well-known aspects of bipolar disorder, sudden and intense anger is another common and often overlooked symptom.
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‘Normal’ Anger vs. ‘Bipolar’ Anger
Anger is a healthy emotion, and everybody experiences it. But bipolar anger or rage is on another level.
For one thing, there is an element of it that is uncontrollable. It comes on suddenly and, in most cases, dissipates just as quickly. It doesn’t necessarily need a trigger or a trigger that is reasonable.
I compare it to road rage. When somebody cuts you off, in the grand scheme of things, that person is just trying to get home, too. But sometimes people just get very, very angry about another car cutting into their lane while driving. It’s as if their family name has been insulted — all because a car is suddenly in front of them in traffic.
Bipolar anger and rage work like that. It’s sudden! You just snap into it, and you don’t even completely understand why.
What to Do When You Suddenly Become Angry
There are some calming techniques that you can do when this happens. But first, we want to do everything we can to avoid it happening at all. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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When it does happen, we want to document it. Why? Because we’ll want to let our health care practitioners know that we are experiencing what really amounts to uncontrollable anger.
But when we are in the throes of it, remember to listen to others. If somebody tells you that you are being unreasonable or unreasonably angry, try to take a break.
Call a time-out, move to another room, and calm down.
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Whatever you are angry about, even if it is legitimate, it will be waiting for you when you are done regaining control over your reactivity.
Also, don’t forget that we have this way of zooming right out of it like we snapped into it in the first place. We are angry one minute, and the next, we are like, “Oh, it’s cool.”
How Others React to Bipolar Anger and Rage
It’s important to remember that the people around you will not calm down that quickly. This type of anger and rage is scary to other people. And it should be scary to us, too.
When we are operating on all cylinders and looking back at the experience, it is scary. So we must make amends for these things, as well.
Once you are in a stable place, remember what happened during your sudden rage. If you involved somebody else because you were angry at them, remember to say, “Hey, I’m sorry for what happened.”
Have You Experienced Uncontrollable Anger or Rage?
Okay, here’s today’s homework: Share what you have done when you have found yourself in the middle of a bipolar anger and/or rage episode — and then what you did to calm down.
And, as a bonus question, talk about how you have made amends to the people who got swept up in this unfortunate anger business.
UPDATED: Originally posted December 7, 2016