Explosive rage can jeopardize your career. Here are three practical tips to keep your cool and maintain professionalism.
We all face challenges at work — whether it’s dealing with the demands of the job itself, difficult coworkers, frustrating employees, or customers with bad attitudes. If you’ve been there, trust me, so have I.
I’ve experienced my fair share of stubborn managers, coworkers who don’t pull their weight, employees who violate company policies, and customers who seem to take out all of life’s frustrations on me. I always try to do the right thing and maintain a professional attitude, but I won’t pretend it’s easy.
Navigating Emotions and Explosive Bipolar Anger
Living with bipolar disorder means dealing with a ton of emotions, and for me, anger is by far the hardest to manage. Outside of work, I sometimes feel like I have more room to let that anger out without major consequences. But at work, it’s a completely different story.
The stakes are so much higher. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I don’t want to jeopardize it with an angry outburst.
RELATED: Bipolar Anger Unveiled: Understanding the Rage Within
That doesn’t mean I’m perfect. I’m human — I make mistakes, just like everyone else. I just try my best, and I’m honest about the struggle.
3 Ways to Manage Bipolar Anger at Work
When I feel anger building, I use a few strategies to manage it. Maybe they’ll work for you, too.
1. Walk Away From the Situation
The first — and best — thing for me to do is to walk away, to physically remove myself from the situation. When anger overwhelms me, I need to put some space between myself and the source of that frustration.
My anger usually arises from communication issues. I know that communication is key to every relationship, whether personal or professional. But when I don’t understand what’s being asked of me — either because I’m not explaining myself well or the other person isn’t being clear — I feel the tension rising.
Is my anger rational? In the moment, it certainly feels that way.
RELATED: The Difference Between Anger and ‘Bipolar Anger’
I want to do my job to the best of my ability, but when directions are unclear, I feel lost. Sometimes, I even perceive the miscommunication (or lack of clarity) as a personal attack. So, if I find myself at that stage of anger, I excuse myself professionally and walk away.
I’ll go anywhere else. I live in Florida, so having the sun on my face can calm me down. With fresh air and the warmth of the sun, I can feel the anger start to melt away.
2. Keep Your Mouth Shut and Don’t Click ‘Send’
This is easier said than done, but it’s an incredibly useful tool.
When I get a snarky comment from a coworker or an email that really gets my goat, my first instinct is to fire back with a sharp response or a few choice four-letter words. While it might feel satisfying for a minute, I know it would only make things worse.
To avoid bottling up my emotions, I’ll write an email saying all the things I want to say — but I don’t send it. I delete it.
If it’s a rude remark that spurred my outrage, I “say” what I want to — but only in my mind.
I try not to let my anger rule or engage with it. Reacting impulsively lets rage win and just makes the situation way worse than it could be, or is.
Once I can say what I want in my mind — or in an email that I do not send — I feel calmer and more in control of my emotions. I just have to get out what I’m thinking and feeling to help the anger subside.
3. Reach Out to a Mentor or Close Friend
Sometimes the anger runs so deep and strong that none of my usual tactics seem to help. When that happens, I recognize that I may need a reality check.
This is when I turn to a trusted mentor or close friend. Talking with someone who understands me and knows my struggles can help me process the situation. Most of the time, they’ll tell me I am overreacting and that I need to let it go.
Expressing myself to someone I trust gives me another perspective on the situation. This, too, will help calm me down (even when I am told I am in the wrong).
Working From Home Can Trigger Anger
The above tactics help me deal with my anger at work. But what about when you’re working from home?
Working remotely — or as a homemaker managing a household — can come with its own unique frustrations. Work-life balance, equipment issues, or feeling like you’re juggling everything on your own can push anyone’s limits.
For example, if you’re parenting while working from home, the challenges are constant: helping children with schoolwork, trying to stay motivated, and managing a household without much of a break. A good friend of mine once told me that going into the office feels like an escape — a chance to socialize and connect with coworkers.
While not every frustration leads to anger, the stress of balancing these roles doesn’t make things easier.
Preparing for Sudden Bipolar Anger
No matter what stresses or issues or frustrations we’re feeling, our anger can sneak up on us at any time, especially with bipolar disorder.
Anger can feel like an uncontrollable beast, but we don’t have to let it rule us or spill out into the world. We know all too well that explosive rage doesn’t help anyone — not ourselves and not those around us.
The strategies I’ve shared have helped me manage my anger, and I hope they might help you, too.
Do you have any other tips for getting a grip on your anger when you are in a situation that requires calm composure? Feel free to share them below!
UPDATED: Originally posted June 11, 2020.