Understanding what fuels your anger and using calm-building strategies can help you manage bipolar disorder more effectively.
Anger is a complex human emotion that most people experience at varying degrees on a regular basis.
As children, we learn about anger from our parents. We see them in angry moments for a variety of reasons — perhaps our own misbehavior, disagreements within the family, or even disagreements with the world. Our parents (and others around us) model how to express anger, and how to manage and resolve it … or not.
Is Anger a Symptom of Bipolar Disorder?
The ways in which an individual expresses anger are based on that person’s innate qualities: Some people are easygoing and have an overall calm and relaxed disposition; others are more anxious and “high-strung.” Some people are very intelligent and rational; others not, or they can behave irrationally regardless of their intelligence. Underlying conditions, such as bipolar disorder, can influence both the experience and the expression of anger.
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People with bipolar disorder are frequently more volatile than the average person without bipolar. Reactions to happy or sad events are often more intense, and the response to annoying and aggravating experiences may range from a greater and longer-lasting irritation, to anger, to all-out rage.
Sometimes, anger is just part and parcel of the irritability of bipolar; those with bipolar disorder — or their family, friends, and coworkers — know this firsthand.
What Can I Do About My Anger?
Here are some straightforward things you can do right now to address your anger:
- Talk with your doctor. There may be medication strategies that can improve the management of bipolar that will also decrease the frequency and/or intensity of anger outbursts.
- Bring family members along to your next therapy session. This way, you can work together to identify collective strategies to manage anger — as well as the situations that lead to anger.
- Every day, do something calming. This may vary from person to person, but self-care and relaxation are important when it comes to managing your mood. You can take a walk, listen to a favorite song, read something inspirational, or relax with a cup of tea or a non-intoxicating treat.
What Other Strategies Do You Recommend?
There are also several additional strategies you can use to minimize the experience of anger:
- Recognize when you are predisposed to becoming angry. When you are feeling irritable and annoyed, this is not the best time to pursue a discussion on a sensitive matter. Often, there is no “best time” to discuss certain topics, like financial strains or problems with your child’s school, for example. However, it helps if you can identify a time during the week when you are most likely to be well-positioned to tackle potentially upsetting issues. As you plan for these sensitive discussions, have any needed information on hand, and be as well rested as possible (since sleep issues can impact your mood).
- Recognize and acknowledge anger triggers. When a rude driver cuts you off and you feel yourself getting angry, identify the trigger as such: “Rude drivers often make me angry, but today I am going to give the jerk a pass.” Then, focus your thoughts on positive things, like the beach, the hills, or your favorite person. It works!
- Give yourself a break. When you find yourself in the middle of an escalating anger experience, pause and communicate with the person (or people) you are with: “I am feeling angry right now. I need a moment.” Suspending the discussion — and requesting that it be continued at a later time, after you’ve cooled off — is much healthier and more productive than succumbing to an anger outburst.
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Anger is an important emotion and, when used appropriately, can be effective in communicating our reactions to the behaviors of those around us: “I feel angry when [you / the government / my boss] … ”
The ability to express anger — and to identify and collectively participate in solutions — is a useful skill, the training for which begins in childhood and lasts a lifetime. That said, it is never too late to learn and practice effective anger management.
UPDATED: Printed as “Ask the Doctor: Strategies for Managing Anger,” Summer 2015